Opiod Epidemic-It’s not just about the Drugs

I have chronic pain and am no longer on opiods. (Safer, off-label, organic alternatives abound). I was on them off and on for years as a result of sports injuries from exercise bulimia. I loved high impact sports like running, tennis and professional beach volleyball.

I paid for my excesses. With interest.

In terms of the opiod epidemic, why not me? I have bipolar disorder and am the most addictive person I know. Somehow, I didn’t fall down the rabbit hole.

For me, Opiates were simply a means to a pain free life.

The side effects eventually made me uncomfortable enough to quit, which I did  alone in my home; assisted by a muscle relaxer.

Today I put up with more pain, but that’s ok with me.

I just worry about other people who are in even more pain than I am whose access will be cut due to this ‘epidemic’ fueled by criminals and addicts looking for a high.

When I say it’s not just about the drugs, I mean this: In the United States, a semi-synthetic opiate is being developed for use as an antidepressant.

What we need is a non addictive pain medicine for those of us who are legitimate pain patients. Why isn’t there one?

The USA Legal Show ‘Suits’ is charging for new episodes?

Cord cutters of the world unite!


Even though the premise of a false Harvard Law Graduate is weak, we really like the show Suits. The above is a picture of Megan (sp) Markle, who happens to be Prince Harry’s girlfriend/fiance and is stellar in the show. Apparently the British Paparazzi, who can be really vindictive, took issue with Prince Harry having a relationship with someone who is biracial. Unbelievable.

The last time we went to Xfinity to see the most current episode of Suits, it said “purchase” for 1.90. per episode. We are wondering if this is a mistake or if Xfinity is becoming greedy and we should dump it.

Me, Speaking on Tardive in San Diego at American Psychiatric Association

Oh, my god. That’s the side of my face I can’t stand. Not only that, I was carrying 20 lb of what my friend D calls ‘seroquel spiderbelly.’ So I kept it black and basic.

Just the story. Just the facts. And you know what? I cried a little on stage….or tried NOT to cry, but someone has to have compassion for me. And for the rest of us out there. We need a Tardive Dyskinesia national advocacy group.

Guess who is thinking about starting one? I am on disability insurance, can’t earn money, and am tired of seeing my name in print.

So, this cause, as dreary as it is, deserves someone to reassure others they are not alone and they can get better, even if their doctor is telling them to  ‘learn to live with it.’

Everyone always says it would be so much better for us if we had a ‘single payer’ system. But I’m here to tell you, if you have a difficult problem…if you live in a country like England, you could never see a total of 9 neurologists over the course of 5 years. So….I’m grateful for Medicare and Disability, I guess.

I just read another study, this one in Britain, based on 900 studies. They estimate the risk rate….this is called ‘incidence rate’ at 20% in a patient’s first year, and then add 3% more for every year of antipsychotic use. And not all atypical antipsychotics are created equal, either. Some are way more causal than others.

I’m not saying these are bad drugs, but do we all need them?

I believe I could have handled my bipolar disorder without them. Just good mood stabilizers. That’s it. Next Stop?

New Orleans, and my husband is coming with me. And I’m going to speak.

Loudass Punk Rock at 8am


The Sex Pistols

I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I found myself as a disc jockey at radio stations that played this defiant, D.I.Y. kind of music. I ‘fell’ into this career because I sold advertising at a small radio station (a great place to get a start) and they thought I had a good voice. Talk about going in through the ‘back door.’  Like writing, this is a field full of rejection and plenty of hungry kids willing to do the same job for free. My boss got hundreds of tapes and resumees a week from wannabees. So I established myself as a music critic and learned the computer programming to be a music director. I figured I’d ‘age out’ later. I ended up aged out at 40 and on a blacklist.

I’m listening to it, and The Pixies right now. Try doing that when you’re in a tentative mood state. I think it plays real well.

Right now I’m in author neurosis. Is my title too gross? Should I call the ‘such and such for dummies’ person? How humiliating!

Last night I perused the entire “Writer’s Market” for small, academic presses. Under the categories ‘Health and Medicine,’ nowhere did I see a real opening for “Tardive Dyskinesia.” But what if it becomes a ‘thang’ (our population rose by 600k in the last six months) and I didn’t bother to write my book? Bottom line? Do what you enjoy.

But what if you enjoy torturing yourself?

Need do DBT homework to get ‘sprung’ from Rikers Island Mind

The module I just completed in DBT was interpersonal communication. Some of it was painful, but this idea of escaping the irrational ’emotion’ mind is the key to feeling good about yourself and being able to make friends and enjoy life just a little. Not be so ‘intense.’

I’m not asking for much. I just don’t want my mind to be some sort of Shawshank Redemption.

And right now, it is.

BTW, with DBT, at first I was skeptical. A fad, buzzword, trend, catchall.

Nope. DBT lives up to the Hype. People in my group are in their 2nd, 3rd, 4th year.


Deplaned for ‘whatever’ reason story got picked up Psych Central


I wonder if this link is live. I wonder if I am alive. Today I worked tons of hours on my book. Then, by accident, I stumbled upon someone listed in someone else’s book that I was looking for. It has to do with this organization, similar to “Dr’s Without Borders,” but the hinterlands these Americans go into are the Appalachians.  They provide free medical to the people who can’t afford it, which is pretty much everyone. I just hope they don’t get detained at the airport. The way it’s going, it could happen to anyone, anytime.




Using more Music, writing about Music, for balance in my life.



For my life to be balanced, I’m working with a global literary and arts mag, called “The Missing Slate” writing reviews of musicians. I’m hoping my Afghan Whigs story gets picked up. Does anyone know who the Afghan Whigs are?


They wrote alot of stuff about the raw emotions of early sobriety and how tough it was to put your heart in someone else’s hands; only for it to be squished or stepped on. This happened to me, this 13th step business quite a bit. Even when we waited that mandatory year…”No relationships for the first year” sort of the same wisdom that spouts “Keep it Stupid Simple” and other hard core, black and white, derogatory statements.

And then they wonder why they’re losing the opiate war.

With our tired tactics and lousy combat strategies, it’s no wonder the body count keeps going up  even when opiate prescriptions are down.  “The Program” isn’t right for everyone, but it’s considered the ‘Gold Standard.’ And they never mention people who are in pain, like the late Prince. What are we going to tell them? That they have to live a life of agony so they can be ‘sober?”

I see alot of talking heads who know very little about how the crisis could be headed off at the pass. Discontinue the use of all immediate release drugs like Vicodin and Percocet. They’re far from beneign. They deliver the fatal dose by setting up ‘Set and Setting.’ Once someone puts it together that one of these pills for pain is good, they’ll swallow 3 and then a handful.

This doesn’t happen with extended release drugs unless the user/abuser monkeys with the time release mechanism in order to get an instant rush.

Going to see former Steely Frontman, Donald Fagen

Total Prince of Pathos….

“At night you hide from the madman you’re longing to be. But it all comes out on the inside, eventually” (Here at the Western World)

“Thelonius My Old Friend, Come on IN and let me shake your hand. So glad that you’re here again, for one last time, Let your MADNESS run with MINE”

Tuesday night, the 8th, at the Fillmore, Miami Beach. I have loved this band and Donald Fagen’s solo work for over twenty years. The appeal of their pathos never fades away. So now, I’m going to acquaint myself with his newer work. He has a new album out…something ‘condominiums’ I think it’s ‘Sunken Condominiums’ I’ll find out.

It’s taken me a week to get over the whole business about being dragged off an airline because tardive dyskinesia makes me walk a little bit ‘off.’  I managed to write some stories and crack a new publication, get picked up by the daily and possibly ‘The Blog’ at Huffington Post. We’ll see.

I kept waking up feeling like I’d just gotten a DUI and remembering ‘oh, that crap happened to me. what does it mean?’ You know that pit of fear in your stomach feeling?