Bipolar: Why press on? Bcause, you could be the breakthrough in…
Towing the Bipolar road, is, for most of us, tolerating the that we ‘never get ‘well,’ having to be satisfied with better or worse. We never are cured or become ‘undetectable.’
Sometimes it sure isn’t fun, abstaining from alcohol and recreational drugs, keeping journals, curbing our enthusiasm for online shopping, and especially, slamming the breaks and truly taking the time to evaluate a mate for their ability to be supportive should we crash. We don’t always do this, but I married a man who left me because “He didn’t want to be married to a woman with bipolar disorder.” It we act on one impulse, we pay for it with the other impulse, the impulse to be safe.
Equally difficult to balance is mindfulness without self focus or selfishness. I fail at this often and am often rejected socially, labeled an ‘intense’ personality. (That’s one reason that I chose Allison Strong as a radio name, you either ‘get’ me or you don’t. It worked in radio, my ratings were high due to polarizing people, in life it don’t work so good. In fact it hurts like hell.)
Then there’s the bitter pill of the limitations, the hard work, the mood swings (especially the depressions), when the meds just stop working, the subsequent waiting rooms, and the weeks where I have three or four doctor’s appointments and scream with psychic overload. And you want me to add a therapist on to that overload???? Are YOU high?
What keeps me from flipping the switch to ‘off’? (Partly because once I do that, there is no return. So I stay where I’m at, the loser I am..staying out of fear of the unknown. God I crave a drink right now.
And, because, you, me, or anyone else could be the breakthrough, the outcome, the coping strategy, discovery or treatment in bipolar disorder that we’ve all been hoping and waiting for. If I take that drink or flip that switch I’ll never know. For all I know, I might become famous. But I’ll never know if I kill myself. Ooops trigger warning.
#bipolar disorder#mood swings#hope#end the stigma#Ibpf#hard Work#DBT#manic depression#amwriting#author#alternative music#creativity in bipolar people#Robert Evans#Montage of Heck#Kurt Cobain#Robin Williams#NAMI#NAMI Broward County
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