Scary Tardive Types on the Internet-Damaged Goods: Do not Wear!

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Beware, Be careful, if you do a search for tardive dyskinesia, there’s a ton of disinformation and misinformation.

I’m writing a centrist book on it…cause, risk factors, studies, promising new treatments, to get symptom management w/o wasting your time with self-claimed Tardive Specialists who don’t have a CLUE…I went through a lot and don’t want anyone else to. In fact, if it weren’t for all those doctors who said, “It’s psychosomatic,” or ‘You’ll Never Get Better, Suck it Up’ or…’You shouldn’t take the Valium,you might get hooked” or simply, ‘I have nothing to offer you,’ the book might never have been written.

I learned so much. Our numbers have doubled since I began my research two years ago. It’s still pretty rare though. That doesn’t mean our suffering is any less. you can’t measure misery. Don’t even try.

And as for finding and trying to talk with other patients,…there are some very damaged people. They are angry. Rageful.

Some of them have no symptom relief…their lives are decimated. They want to get even. With the world.

In the following case, I took a few blows to the skull before removing myself from the situation.

There is this one guy who is doing a facebook page based completely on his lawsuit.

He’s suing AstraZeneca (Seroquel), asking for punitive damages of 129 million. And that’s just for him. One person.

He thinks Seroquel is poison.

He’d managed to attract a famous lawyer.

The lawyer bailed.

Now I know why.

This guy called me a “Troll.” I’d never heard that term so I asked him what he meant.

He said he wasn’t feeling well that day. I tried to forget and move on.

Then, he gave me all his personal info, asked me to read every single post on his ‘tardive dyskinesia lawsuit’ facebook page and then write articles on and about him and his lawsuit…I write for three bipolar related publications. He  suggested others like…Reader’s Digest, WEB MD, I mean, I felt we were on the same team!

The next day I message him and He says… “PLZ LVE ME ALNE U NEED INPATNET PSYCH. U R THE TYPE of PERSN WHO NEEDS SEROQUEL” (This from a guy who thinks Seroquel is the devil).

He went on to say I was psychotic.

I do get hypomanic and type really fast. This is daunting to some. I’m working on it. Swear.

It hurt to have someone flip on me like this.

I was stunned, a stone where my stomach used to be. I knew I had to block, unfriend, the whole bit.

Husband says…Hon, it’s just the internet. There’s tons of crazy people out there.

Is it really like that? I swear, because he had tardive, I felt this bond…I’m a little on the lonely side to begin with…and then this.

It’s best that I discovered his true colors before attempting to write an article about him, that’s for sure!

Sometimes bad breaks are for the good.

Why do I blog? I mean, really????



I used to be in radio, which is a commercial business that carefully calculates who they are trying to reach, how old they are, race, level of education, income, etc. My format, alternative, was aimed at 18-34 year olds, 60-40 men, mostly and women. At the time, I was in my thirties (I did this from 29-39). I knew as an employee, I’d age out sooner than later. When the ad department sells that Saturday Afternoon live remote from the car dealership, they don’t want to send out a 55 year old woman, I mean, not really.


The reason I bring this up in the overall discussion of why I do what I do… is I rarely blog and am even guiltier of not reading and responding to others. I hardly ever go on facebook. Twitter? Can’t be bothered, yet this is the best place to ‘reach out and touch’ someone.


Basically, I am looking to collaborate on an intellectual level with writers, bipolar so much the better. I’m in that phase of writing articles for magazines and the local newspapers (Miami Herald, South Florida Sun Sentinel, Bipolar Hope, etc.,) and try to figure out which books to write and which topics to include.


I can’t figure out if tardive dyskinesia belongs in a separate book all its’ own. What do you think?

I can’t get anyone to tell me how many of us there are.

The info I’ve dug up is of practical information to those of us who take the drugs that cause them…..those atypical antipsychotics advertised as ‘helpful for depression’ that list warnings for antidepressants so the consumer doesn’t realize they are being prescribed a cousin of Thorazine, a drug that helped a ton of people in the 52’s and emptied mental institutions. Those people could now live their lives on the outside.

The info on movement disorders caused by Reglan and antipsychotics that I can’t seem to dig up is even more interesting.

Many neuros in the field say they’ll answer questions and then blow me off.

I know why this is and want to write about it. It’s not damnning, but it’s practical knowledge we are deprived of.

I lost my grant for tardive medicine this year. It’s changed my perspective. To put it lightly.

I am just looking for feedback. But it seems like a crowded field out here. Especially when you get to the point that you are writing for all these publications demanding copy guaranteed to print….it’s hard to come back and blog, sorta.

South Florida Sun Sentinel Published my Opinion-Editorial!!! I’m still in shock.

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I’m one for 7 in terms of freelance writing (This is outside of what I send to international bipolar disorder foundation and bipolar hope).

I have sent out, let me count….7 pieces of content. See, I’m manic and will be all over the place with no perspective if I don’t keep track. Finally, one hit in the Daily Newspaper. South Florida Sun Sentinel. Since my point of view is ironically funny with the airlines metaphor and inflammatory I only became aware they printed my story by the huge amount of backlash!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check it out and comment on it if you want to jump in the fray. Topic? Drug prices. Prescription drug prices. Wouldn’t it be great if we could get all our scrips on the corner? That’s what Scarface, the rapper says in his song “Can’t get right” …”We can’t afford our ‘scriptions, so we all gonna die. CVS is slingin’ dope on evry block WORLDWIDE!  See, we little people? We have to deal with all those middle men that make things legal.

Words of the week



What I love about words is how often I am wrong about what they mean. Usually they are in the context of something that makes them make sense but today I found myself wrong about a few. I run into words a lot because I read a lot. Newspapers and Magazines Mostly.

Here we go

“Putative”: (this was in an article about excessive incarceration in the U.S. I thought it meant punitive..) “Generally Considered To Be.”

“Voluble” (in an article about Trump)….”Speaking Incessantly”

“Apotheosis” (I can’t remember..probably New York Times) “The highest point or culmination of


“Plebescites” (I keep seeing this in the context of Brexit (the exit of Britain) from the European Union) it means “A direct Vote to Decide”


How is this relevant to anything? For one, many of us are writers and love words. For second, many of the people who ‘follow’ me have depression or bipolar and studies prove learning new shit helps mood function. How? I don’t know but I am going to find out.

Alternative Music and Chronic Pain: Retrograde on indie 103.1

Right now I’m listening to a batch of songs by the Clash that I’ve never heard. It’s a program called “Retrograde” from Indie 103.1 online. Listen Live. This is what’s called a Specialty Show, where an individual disc jockey gets to pick and present the songs he or she desires, not those dominated by a computer playlist. This music is so triumphant in tone, and I don’t know the titles of these songs or I would buy them.

I’ve been in a lot of low back pain lately. Almost went to the emergency room on Friday. The Medication isn’t helping. Now I feel slightly better.


Stigma the Silent Killer

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We often perceive us ourselves as “Other,” of “Different” and in my case, because I’ve been open to it in AA, I encounter a lot of shunning and discrimination for having trying it to escape the thunder of fear in my heart that is depression. So, AA folk often shine me on or scold me for what I share in relation to “Depression makes me want to drink.” I’m still sober and hangin on by a thread.

Drop Self Stigma. It’s like beating yourself on the head with a two by four. Oh, yeah, that will make you feel better

1 last Morrissey November post: “November Spawned a Monster”

Have you ever heard this raging uptempo sorrowful tale of a child born deformed?

Yesterday I heard uptempo "November Spawned A Monster on Indie 103.1's "Breakfast with The Smiths." Listen at your own risk for depression! lol
Yesterday I heard uptempo “November Spawned A Monster on Indie 103.1’s “Breakfast with The Smiths.” Listen at your own risk for depression! lol
On November
Spawned a monster in the shape of this child who later cried
“But Jesus made me, so Jesus save me from pity, sympathy
And people discussing me, this frame of useless limbs
What can make good all the bad thats been done?”
And if the lights were out could you even bear
To kiss her full on the mouth or anywhere, oh?
Poor twisted child, so ugly, so ugly
Poor twisted child, oh hug me, oh hug me
One November
Spawned a monster in the shape of this child who must remain
A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her
A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her
A symbol… Full lyrics on Google Play