You won’t believe this gaffe….I’m lucky I survived

al in german dress and new earrings

 

 

The doctors think I might have an autoimmune condition called Sjogren’s disease. It’s treatable, not curable. I set up an appointment with the only rheumatology practice in my county. I waited for a month. I went and discovered I was not on the books. Now, I must wait another month.

My eye doctor prescribed something not on my insurance plan. Paperwork must be pushed. Prior authorization. No biggie, right? Wrong. Turns out they don’t do those.

The only way they’d consider it, the doctor said, is if I walked in the form myself and helped them fill it out. I called my Part D drug plan and they won’t send me a blank prior auth form. Against Policy, they say. I asked one girl four different times if she could send me the form and she didn’t give me a yes or no answer, just prattled on until I asked for a supervisor. And then another. And another. My medical records are mine. I should be able to get them sent to me return receipt, I’ll pay for the extra postage. Just send the MF’er so I can get my meds.

I’m the customer. This is Monopoly of CVS, Silverscript Part D, CVS mail order, CVS Drugstores (Hello can anyone spell Monopoly?) but where they get all their power (and profit) is as pharmacy benefit managers, (PBM’S).

They are the middlemen between pharmacy and wholesalers; cutting backdoor deals to drive customers to their stores by offering lower prices. Lots of people fall for this. It doesn’t matter if you’re rarely ill or are only on one or two meds.

I’m not in that category. With increased privatization of Medicaid and more and more private for profit Medicare ‘Disadvantage’ plans that don’t cover my University of Miami and University of Florida neurologists, quality and choice are going out the window. The small pharmacies are being driven out because the private hmo’s can make the rules.

And they didn’t even have to go to a ‘for profit’ Keiser or Trump University to get screwed. Come to think of it, neither do we.

Isn’t it funny, I tag bipolar but life’s challenges go way beyond that, I’m finding. I want to stay healthy but it takes a lot of work with all these side effects and aging.

2 trusted shrink/internist of 17 years re chronic pain, bipolar, side effects, Stanford Tardive & Ali

 

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Thanks to former BFF outta cash and cut outta the will. Dad can’t understand stuff like how  25 years psych meds and side effects, meds for the side effects for the side effects etc. It really DOES happen and according to him, it’s all my fault.  She didn’t understand either, thought the salads for the prediabetic condition side effect and my compulsive carrying of back issues of the new York times to read in waiting rooms was ‘crazy.’ as she built her case about me in silence, totally two faced, she caused more harm than she’ll ever know. She relayed she thought her friendship was a ‘gift’ to me. It was. It keeps on giving, too. I’m still picking up the pieces!!!!!!!!

w/Stanford Volleyball and exercise bulimia the combination of tardive dyskinesia and my annular tear, three herniated discs, spinal stenosis and psoriatic arthritis…well most people would have offed themselves by now.

Dear Reader. If you’re still here the following is actually interesting reading.

And if I may say so myself, I’m published in the local tribune outlet, Meloday maker UK, Hits mag, The Album Network, Arizona Republic, Bipolar Magazine, NAMI and International Bipolar Disorder Foundation (IBPF) in San Diego, the city I grew up in. I am working on a piece on tardive dyskinesia, also called “Extrapyramidal symptoms” for Neurology today for their next issue. My current publisher reached our with both hands; requesting a movement disorder piece when their sole source of income is from a drug company. Tardive is rarer than ever but still, mighty white of them.

This is pursuant to the crisis caused by former bff  projecting her 3 attempts going on a fourth suicidality on me, calling the cops and my father about my deteriorating state. He’s tried his best to help me financially in every way possible but….not have anything to do with the family. He just can’t figure out, understand how someone can possibly have so many problems. But then he’s never been on an MAOI or Clozaril or an antipsychotic causing tardive dyskinesia and a spiral of unending spasms and pain.

First order of business to take care of myself. Because of certain choices, side xfx,  not all my fault. I’m not a bad person. Dad thinks so. I can’t afford to think that way. I make bad choices and things get worse! Physical, ongoing mental health still paramount. Pain, bowel still problematic. Still needing 290 mg (top) Linzess and once weekly emergency injections of Relistor, an 80.00 copayment even within catastrophic period. I’m still looking for a healthier way. 16.00 copay to see original pain specialist of three years, still picking people’s brains. Followed through w/appt.  Saw a new, likely temporary pain doc (anti narc) studying to be an All Cash “Functional” (read: Holistic)  Medicine”specialist. For a less toxic, least constipating solution, she wrote 7.5 Microgram Butrans patch, still a narc. She gets it. Copy Enclosed.  Of course I didn’t fill it. I was just picking her brain for free, like I did when I first got Tardive Dyskinesia and  saw 15 doctors who weren’t able to treat me and couldn’t admit it. They said ‘psychsomatic’ (Cleveland clinic female doc) were sexist, stigmatizing and didn’t want anything to do with me.. afraid I’d sue them which I never would. I just want to get well.

Still journaling the box, diet and exercise changes, trying to make it work. I’m in more pain but that’s not THE most pressing I hurt too much to exercise the way I used to– partially a good thing. Spine mindfulness, so to speak.  Gentle walks, stretching and at home mat pilates swimming for now. Discontinuing Y membership and beloved NYT. 100.00 Savings. First Haircut in a year. Thanks, Clair. I don’t think you meant well. I think you need help for your brain tumor, beneign as it may be, it’s interfering with your decision making process. I feel for ya. I don’t feel so well myself. But we’re not good for each other and never will be.