And yet, I’m so religious about taking my medicine!!!!


After 27 years of this, it gets old. I lay out my meds in my tray, aware I’m just buying time until the antidepressants stop working and I go back to square one to find a new cocktail. I’m not easy to treat but we know what works. I stay with my ‘all cash’ shrink, even though over the years I’ve had ten second opinions (tardive will make you do that in hopes someone, anyone will be able to help) and I’m not impressed with whose out there. Especially the ALF and hospital Hacks. Even their patients don’t like them.

Anyway, I ‘forgot’ to put my Wellbutrin out for a week straight. The tray looked a bit light but I couldn’t figure it out and got distracted day in, day out. Well, it worked, I fell right back in the ditch until I figured it out.

I’m ‘over’ taking medication. You?

You won’t believe this gaffe….I’m lucky I survived

al in german dress and new earrings



The doctors think I might have an autoimmune condition called Sjogren’s disease. It’s treatable, not curable. I set up an appointment with the only rheumatology practice in my county. I waited for a month. I went and discovered I was not on the books. Now, I must wait another month.

My eye doctor prescribed something not on my insurance plan. Paperwork must be pushed. Prior authorization. No biggie, right? Wrong. Turns out they don’t do those.

The only way they’d consider it, the doctor said, is if I walked in the form myself and helped them fill it out. I called my Part D drug plan and they won’t send me a blank prior auth form. Against Policy, they say. I asked one girl four different times if she could send me the form and she didn’t give me a yes or no answer, just prattled on until I asked for a supervisor. And then another. And another. My medical records are mine. I should be able to get them sent to me return receipt, I’ll pay for the extra postage. Just send the MF’er so I can get my meds.

I’m the customer. This is Monopoly of CVS, Silverscript Part D, CVS mail order, CVS Drugstores (Hello can anyone spell Monopoly?) but where they get all their power (and profit) is as pharmacy benefit managers, (PBM’S).

They are the middlemen between pharmacy and wholesalers; cutting backdoor deals to drive customers to their stores by offering lower prices. Lots of people fall for this. It doesn’t matter if you’re rarely ill or are only on one or two meds.

I’m not in that category. With increased privatization of Medicaid and more and more private for profit Medicare ‘Disadvantage’ plans that don’t cover my University of Miami and University of Florida neurologists, quality and choice are going out the window. The small pharmacies are being driven out because the private hmo’s can make the rules.

And they didn’t even have to go to a ‘for profit’ Keiser or Trump University to get screwed. Come to think of it, neither do we.

Isn’t it funny, I tag bipolar but life’s challenges go way beyond that, I’m finding. I want to stay healthy but it takes a lot of work with all these side effects and aging.

“Go Further:” Dad was Ford Dealer, I’m bipolar, with “A Better Idea”

We’ve come a long way, baby. On the right we have the Ford Explorer. For you millenials, pictured top left was the disastrous contraption called The Ford Pinto.

People howled over Pinto jokes for years but it wasn’t funny. The placement of the engine, in the rear, beneath the trunk or flip top back was terrible if you got rear ended. Dad survived the 70’s Oil Embargo and supported his brood of four daughters during a very rough time. Pinto and all.

I admit, I was spoiled. I certainly was certainly unprepared for the shocker of Bipolar Disorder, that’s for sure.

And I have a whole new way of dealing with mood cycles and other downers that come up in life. You could say I’m “Going Further.”

Not enough weeks for words of the weak!

Here we go.


Glossolalic: This was a word in the New York Times article about Diamanda Galas. (pictured above) It means the gift of tongues, which I think I mean speaking in tongues in her music. She’s one of a kind, truly. Using her art for activism. No matter how ugly it got.

And I worked for the only alternative radio station to play her. She made album with John Paul Jones of Led Zepplin and they toured.

Atavistic: reverting to the past or ancestral, like our instincts or fear.

Incipient: Beginning to happen, initial stages of becoming something. A Groundswell.

Unalloyed: Usually referring to metals, gold, silver but in a person it means unreserved.

Parenteral. This has to w/medicine, particularly as I investigate why buprenorphrine is not available and why ..whatever. …what it means is that you take it in a different way than swallowing a pill. This is a good thing and less damaging to the liver and digestive tract, which has to break it down. Unfortunately, these types of administrations are only employed late in the game, after the patient’s liver or kidneys have failed.

Gerrymandering: It’s a political thing, means to push, manipulate the boundaries. They are all doing that, in my opinion. The candidates.


Love Means Never having to say….’I’m Sorry’ (Love Story 70’s)

trumpvaleant guy


Guess who apologized this week?

A former guard at Auschwitz who stood by while hundreds of thousands of people were killed and burned and admitted to knowing exactly what was going on.

Valeant Pharmaceutical’s soon to be replaced CEO, Michael Pearson, (for his overly high prices and business model based on acquiring old drugs and repricing them), in a Senate Oversight Committee (There have been several in addition to an SEC investigation into their accounting…something called ‘channel stuffing)

The folks at Volkswagen.

Donald Trump by his attempt at ‘presidentiality.’

Guess who hasn’t made a peep? That young wanna be Gordon Gecko of Turing Pharmaceuticals, 32-year-old Martin Shkreli. Finally, he’s taking counsel’s advice and not speaking to the press or broadcasting a 24/7 /twitter feed.

New Film at Tribeca Kevin Spacey as Nixon & Michael Shannon as Elvis



We don’t know yet which cable channel or streaming service will carry the new movie about Nixon and Elvis but we will know after someone purchases it for untold millions. Film festivals are where producers take their newly completed projects to find someone to advertise and promote AND more importantly, distribute it. This  has some very controversial, hypocritical subject matter, like Elvis wanting to join the War on Drugs? Are U kidding?nixonspacey

Sharing Jewelry Making With Others in the Community



When I first wanted to learn how to make jewelry a few teachers told me they couldn’t work with me; frustrated at how slow I learned. Luckily for me I had a trip scheduled to see Mom in Arizona and she’s an expert. She has such fine skills. If you compare her work with mine it’s mind boggling. But that’s not what it’s all about.

Mom set up a jewelry table for me so she could rest when she needs to and I’d have something to do. She gave me the raw materials, like stones and findings that I needed. There are quite a few moving parts and tools involved. She probably spent twelve hours with me on that trip, helping me with the skills I could not wrap my mind around, like wire bending, and the making of loops to put earring findings on or other attachments. It’s got to be consistent and uniform in shape in side, otherwise it won’t hang the same and the different loop sizes will look silly.

I put up a site on Etsy and found out it’s more a place where ideas are stolen than appreciated and bought. In doing this I developed better photography skills, as the picture and description of an item are worth more than a thousand words. I spent money on lessons upon my return and also put out dough for nice stones like the above, which is Fluorite topped with embedded Swarovsky Crystal beads.

And then I got into writing and I just stopped. I’m going back. I think I need to.


I hate this word as a platitude or cliché but ‘balance’ is everything.


Gravatar not mandatory and keeps people out!

Did you know that Gravatar actually keeps people out? There is not an email to punch and thank you. I have to go to one of your posts and leave a comment that’s not related to your post so I can respond appropriately. I personally got rid of gravatar as I think it just keeps people out and also because we got sold a bill of goods. We ‘think’ it helps us and that we have to have it. But what it does is put a sterile, distant physical presentation of another social mediaphile’s first impression of you. And you know how important that is. Also, I can’t just automatically ‘follow’ you. One option is to add a tab ‘contact’ and they would click on that tab and get a live email address.
Thanks again for the follow.