Bipolar Disorder: Taking My Temperature

Having gone through a bunch of long and short depressive episodes, I got into a terribly self focused habit of waking up and immediately ‘taking my mood temperature’ to see what kind of day I’d have. Rather than think about what I want to get accomplished or who I’d like to lend a hand to, I think about myself. I mean, I think it’s helpful in a way, but it can also lead to spiraling downward, wasting time and diffusing focus on life itself.

I’ve had more than my share of depressions in the last three years. So I got in the habit of living in fear of the next one. But I’ve learned that it’s equally important to be aware of manias because they lead to depressions also.

I’ve also been identifying triggers and they are so┬ámany. So many, in fact, that life is a virtual landmine. How to I turn triggers inside out so I see the upside, the growth opportunity for them:?

Partial list:

Too many doctor’s appointments

a critical conversation with my dad that feels like judgement

Family not understanding bipolar or believing it’s a real disease

Weight Gain

Food itself

Not writing enough

Computer malfunctions and forgetting to save my work

Not enough exercise

Having learning difficulties on software programs

Clothes not fitting

Being too busy

Not reading enough

As you can see, if I take these and twist them around it would make for a lot of growth, self forgivement and acceptance. Hey, maybe I might be able to focus on others for a change!