Has anyone heard of that other Kurt Cobain Documentary

 

 

Kurt

Is there a documentary besides “Montage of Heck?”

 

At my pain doctor’s place there is this really nice lady who does my blood pressure. She’s really young so I was surprised to hear she liked Nirvana. She Said there is an alternate documentary that theorized that Courtney Love, who is still alive and well, killed her husband, not that he committed suicide. Has anyone ever heard of it?

 

I’m gonna go looking

Bowie, my BFF and Taking stock of being a Rebel

rebel

 

 

I didn’t want to be one of the many David Bowie Fans rushing to grab the stage for themselves. His death really affected me. I’m so sad he’s gone but he made art out of pain until the very end. I adored his ‘plastic’ soul phase of the “Young Americans” album…it was the first David Bowie album I bought. Then I got into his lead guitarit “Mick Ronson” and loved his solo song, “The Empty Bed.” You can’t find it anymore. David wrote songs for acts in the Underground and helped them break through. Good examples of this are his collaborative work with Lou Reed, Brian Eno, and Iggy Pop. He was generous that way. He felt there was room for everyone. rebel

I always considered myself an outsider. The music of David Bowie in the 70’s, along with Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Foghat, The Eagles and other groups in the 70’s, normalized my experience of myself. I was and forever will be grateful to them. It encouraged the artist in me.

However, due to my BFF and the passing of Scott Weiland from STP and David Bowie, I’m re examining the theme of my blog.

Rebel. Hmmmmm. Rebel against what, exactly? And what in the heck is positive about that?

Questioning and raging against the status quo is what has fueled popular and underground music (my favorite) since the 50’s. Beginning with Elvis, The Beatles, Going into Led Zepplin, Nirvana, Bowie, Billy Idol and even the softer sounds of Duran Duran.

My personal opinion is that artists have an uncanny ability to take pain and give it purpose in their art, connecting to others who feel similarly….or feel at all, and find meaning in it.

But I’m re examining useless rebellion, that’s all. I’m for change but think twitter hashtag campaigns only speak to the choir and protests outside the gates of pharmaceutical companies only make us look more crazy.

I’ve written letters to senators and am looking for an online Civics course to see how our government really works when it comes to affecting Change and checks and balances.

What about we who R sentenced to a lifetime struggle /mental illness?

 

The tortured man behind Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor, who in the 90’s said he would not take anything for his diagnosis of bipolar disorder. And more.,….below. The suicides and accidental OD’s are only part of a much larger story!

 

trentreznorI was listening to Lithium yesterday (Sirius 90’s-my ‘stuck in the 70’s-type station’), and Matt Pinfield, a programmer I used to know, told a story about NIN’s Trent Reznor and how before he formed his band, he’d seen Ministry and fallen in love with Al Jourgenson’s vocal style and stage presence.

I wasn’t clear on the next part, but there was something about nails…an actual nine inch nail he pounded into a piece of wood and there ya go, Nine Inch Nails.

I wonder about Trent, how he’s doing now and how in the 90’s  he refused treatment for Bipolar Disorder. Even though I benefit (and get penalized healthwise) from psychiatric meds, I think that with the kind of agonized self expression he had with his band, he might have been able to transfer the majority of madness to the music so it didn’t eat him up inside.

But that only works for so long. When the creative well runs dry for a little or a long while, then what do you do with all that pain? Look at what happened to Hemingway, and many others?

We look at the suicides of movie stars, writers, artists, and rock musicians only when they happen and then we move on to a more pleasant topic.  We gave the most attention of late to the late Kurt Cobain yet his music lives on as if we never lost him.

People never talk about his bipolar diagnosis or his chronic pain. What drove him to the poppy to begin with.

What about the accidental OD’s of people like Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole Smith,     Rivers Phoenix, Scott Weiland, and so many  like me, sentenced to a lifelong struggle to achieve and retain mental health?

Add that to someone famous; with commercial restraints imposed on them by their handlers? The late Scott Weiland mentioned his ‘handlers’ or ‘minders,’ as he called his sobriety coaches, with sarcasm and disdain. How could he not when if you read AA’s Big Book, it’s emphasized that neither the material nor the wisdom within it be used for commercial gain?

When I went to rehab more times than I care to admit, I too was skeptical of  for profit centers reliant on the 12 steps as a framework for their programs. It’s not ethical. Yet we Canonize places like the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs for making Liz Taylor Mop the Floor or Hazelden in Minnesota for having one of the “Cagney and Lacey” stars come back and give talks?

When one of the celebs accidentally experiences an early expiration date; falling off the shelf to their death,  we hardly notice and blame them for their symptoms-substance abuse. It’s a symptom, man, mental illness and inferior coping skills the cause.

Why should we cast aspersions on drug abusers looking for an instant fix to what ails them when we ourselves live in a ‘risk vs benefit,’ ‘drugs will fix it’ communal existence with the American Medical Association, Big Pharma and our own health care providers?

Why? Why? Why?

Gravatar not Mandatory & Keeps people Out!

Did you know that Gravatar actually keeps people out? There is not an email to punch and thank you. I have to go to one of your posts and leave a comment that’s not related to your post so I can respond appropriately. I personally got rid of gravatar as I think it just keeps people out and also because we got sold a bill of goods. We ‘think’ it helps us and that we have to have it. But what it does is put a sterile, distant physical presentation of another social mediaphile’s first impression of you. And you know how important that is. Also, I can’t just automatically ‘follow’ you. One option is to add a tab ‘contact’ and they would click on that tab and get a live email address.
Thanks again for the follow.

My Dark Side: Nirvana, Morrissey and Nine Inch Nails

As I drove to the gym yesterday listening to Sirius’s “Lithium,” Nirvana’s rarely heard “on a plain” was blasting in my car stereo. Sirius, expensive but worth it. Then came Nine Inch Nail’s “Head like a Hole,” which made me turn the radio up even louder. I was lucky to be able to play these songs on the radio, first because they were good, but I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and could really relate. Later when someone published that Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nail’s visionary) was dx with bipolar disorder and didn’t want to take medicine, I could really understand. That raw pain he expressed in his music, the rage and fury of betrayal in “Terrible Lie,” he probably didn’t want to lose that.

My Dark Side: Nirvana, Morrissey and Nine Inch Nails

As I drove to the gym yesterday listening to Sirius’s “Lithium,” Nirvana’s rarely heard “on a plain” was blasting in my car stereo. Sirius, expensive but worth it. Then came Nine Inch Nail’s “Head like a Hole,” which made me turn the radio up even louder. I was lucky to be able to play these songs on the radio, first because they were good, but I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and could really relate. Later when someone published that Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nail’s visionary) was dx with bipolar disorder and didn’t want to take medicine, I could really understand. That raw pain he expressed in his music, the rage and fury of betrayal in “Terrible Lie,” he probably didn’t want to lose that.