Chronic pain compounded by tardive dyskinesia…please don’t write about what you don’t understand.

al in german dress and new earrings

I safely used ms contin for sixteen years, all the while hydrating, swimming, pilates, Wobenzyme, Pau’ D’Arco, Turmeric (anti inflammatory diet, rabbit food regimen) regular stretching, etc, for pain and round after round of expensive injections (12 in all..they all cost 200.00 and they all failed).

One of them caused a severe flare, causing me to ACTUALLY use the amount prescribed. Mostly, I took way less, taking cold turkey ‘vacations’ to drive DOWN my tolerance/dosage.

The other one was a test for “Coolief,” the burning of the entire nerve branch block of my lumbar spine. It’s tens of thousands of dollars and Medicare doesn’t prior authorize it. I’d lose my house. That’s one thing in life I’m not incurring penalties and interest on, like the taking of pain medicine. Hey, I know it’s long term bad but I can’t take the present of my ‘present.’ I don’t abuse my meds. I stopped because they were abusing me, idiots.

And I have bipolar and a history of drug abuse. And I’m intelligent and left handed, creative. So if I’m such a drug addict, why is it, tell me, that when I finally stopped at 1/3 of what I had been taking in prior years, there were 250 extra pills left over? Because I kept cutting them up in an effort to get by with less and the pills that couldn’t be cut in half, I saved for a rainy day. I can’t take them anymore anyway. They sit here and I don’t think about them until I read an article by someone who thinks there is no benefits of taking opiates for non cancerous chronic pain. For palliative care only. I have the spine of an 85 year old at 55. I was a professional athlete and exercise bulimic, under a ton of pressure to be thin to do commercials and modeling. It’s a disease, not just a vanity thing. I’ve been to eating disorder treatment twice, both for4 60 days. Bankrupted me and my family.

On the pain thing  But I don’t think you understand the agony of a psoriatic arthritic whose injuries are compounded by the uncontrollable muscle spasms of tardive dyskinesia, a rare but real side effect of my bipolar medications, which I take like clockwork and have also tried to reduce or discontinue. You probably don’t believe in bipolar either but trust me, without these meds I have delusions I have children and fixate on stop signs.

Please, people, talk to people who are truly in pain. Who need their meds to work when the pain is truly excruciating, unlivable.

Please, opiate haters, Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.