Mentally Ill Dying in Prison Transport Vans

When I was driving home from my tardive dyskinesia neurologist appointment in Gainesville I read an article that made me shudder. It could be me. Prisoners being driving from one facility to another are at the mercy of untrained people who drive the vans and have more of a trucker mentality. It’s about how many people you can get quickly from one place to another. So they jam the vans, deprive the prisoners of bathroom breaks, etc. When a mentally ill person doesn’t get their meds for three or four days they can decompensate and start babbling loudly or drooling, one person died of Xanax withdrawal.

 

I thought…’It could have been me.’ I’ve been privileged to have good care and avoid the hospital for seventeen years but when my former bff called the cops on me and told them I was suicidal, I was in a holding area very similar to a county jail. A long time ago, the eighties, I had legal problems re my drug habit and went to jail five times, so I know what I’m talking about.

 

The problem is the privatization of public prison and jail systems. These people know how to penny pinch but it’s at the expense of those they transport and their human rights.

Mentally Ill Dying in Prison Transport Vans

When I was driving home from my tardive dyskinesia neurologist appointment in Gainesville I read an article that made me shudder. It could be me. Prisoners being driving from one facility to another are at the mercy of untrained people who drive the vans and have more of a trucker mentality. It’s about how many people you can get quickly from one place to another. So they jam the vans, deprive the prisoners of bathroom breaks, etc. When a mentally ill person doesn’t get their meds for three or four days they can decompensate and start babbling loudly or drooling, one person died of Xanax withdrawal.

 

I thought…’It could have been me.’ I’ve been privileged to have good care and avoid the hospital for seventeen years but when my former bff called the cops on me and told them I was suicidal, I was in a holding area very similar to a county jail. A long time ago, the eighties, I had legal problems re my drug habit and went to jail five times, so I know what I’m talking about.

 

The problem is the privatization of public prison and jail systems. These people know how to penny pinch but it’s at the expense of those they transport and their human rights.

Looking for other tardive patients for a movement disorder project…a free online pamphlet filled with facts.

gainesvilletwoWe went to Gainesville to see my neurologist, the one who finally fixed the tardive dyskinesia, a side effect of antipsychotics.

 

I’m going after a huge undertaking, writing a book of my journey with tardive, the docs I saw (you would not believe some of the stories) the ER visits, the 8 mo disastrous titration off Seroquel that only made my symptoms explode (withdrawal emergent syndrome) and the whole lot of it.

How many people have this anyway? Who would know? I am lining up my sources and looking for input. What questions are answerable? Should I ask for a quote?  I’m just trying to do the right thing and prevent others from living the same three year marathon nightmare that I did. If you know anyone who is twitching, grimacing or thrashing, send ’em my way. bipolarbrainiacSFL@Hotmail.com

 

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Picture from Gainesville with fill light from the Lake behind me! Looking for other tardive patients

gainesvilletwoWe went to Gainesville to see my neurologist, the one who finally fixed the tardive dyskinesia, a side effect of antipsychotics.

 

I got it from Geodon. I’m trying to find out if there are any other people in my situation. If you know any, can you send them my way? I’m working on a project where I tell people what their chances are, tips on prevention, treatment and current medical thought. Having had it since 2007 and searching for symptom relief (I couldn’t drive or sign a check or fall asleep for three year…a total nightmare) It’s a lot like people who get bipolar disorder and have a three year period during which they tried everything. This is a good photo because there was a lake across the way, right below me and the light came from below, filling in my roadmap of a face!!!  In Hollywood I think that’s called a “Kleig Light” or something like that. We shot pictures forever. It was so fun.

2 trusted shrink/internist of 17 years re chronic pain, bipolar, side effects, Stanford Tardive & Ali

 

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Thanks to former BFF outta cash and cut outta the will. Dad can’t understand stuff like how  25 years psych meds and side effects, meds for the side effects for the side effects etc. It really DOES happen and according to him, it’s all my fault.  She didn’t understand either, thought the salads for the prediabetic condition side effect and my compulsive carrying of back issues of the new York times to read in waiting rooms was ‘crazy.’ as she built her case about me in silence, totally two faced, she caused more harm than she’ll ever know. She relayed she thought her friendship was a ‘gift’ to me. It was. It keeps on giving, too. I’m still picking up the pieces!!!!!!!!

w/Stanford Volleyball and exercise bulimia the combination of tardive dyskinesia and my annular tear, three herniated discs, spinal stenosis and psoriatic arthritis…well most people would have offed themselves by now.

Dear Reader. If you’re still here the following is actually interesting reading.

And if I may say so myself, I’m published in the local tribune outlet, Meloday maker UK, Hits mag, The Album Network, Arizona Republic, Bipolar Magazine, NAMI and International Bipolar Disorder Foundation (IBPF) in San Diego, the city I grew up in. I am working on a piece on tardive dyskinesia, also called “Extrapyramidal symptoms” for Neurology today for their next issue. My current publisher reached our with both hands; requesting a movement disorder piece when their sole source of income is from a drug company. Tardive is rarer than ever but still, mighty white of them.

This is pursuant to the crisis caused by former bff  projecting her 3 attempts going on a fourth suicidality on me, calling the cops and my father about my deteriorating state. He’s tried his best to help me financially in every way possible but….not have anything to do with the family. He just can’t figure out, understand how someone can possibly have so many problems. But then he’s never been on an MAOI or Clozaril or an antipsychotic causing tardive dyskinesia and a spiral of unending spasms and pain.

First order of business to take care of myself. Because of certain choices, side xfx,  not all my fault. I’m not a bad person. Dad thinks so. I can’t afford to think that way. I make bad choices and things get worse! Physical, ongoing mental health still paramount. Pain, bowel still problematic. Still needing 290 mg (top) Linzess and once weekly emergency injections of Relistor, an 80.00 copayment even within catastrophic period. I’m still looking for a healthier way. 16.00 copay to see original pain specialist of three years, still picking people’s brains. Followed through w/appt.  Saw a new, likely temporary pain doc (anti narc) studying to be an All Cash “Functional” (read: Holistic)  Medicine”specialist. For a less toxic, least constipating solution, she wrote 7.5 Microgram Butrans patch, still a narc. She gets it. Copy Enclosed.  Of course I didn’t fill it. I was just picking her brain for free, like I did when I first got Tardive Dyskinesia and  saw 15 doctors who weren’t able to treat me and couldn’t admit it. They said ‘psychsomatic’ (Cleveland clinic female doc) were sexist, stigmatizing and didn’t want anything to do with me.. afraid I’d sue them which I never would. I just want to get well.

Still journaling the box, diet and exercise changes, trying to make it work. I’m in more pain but that’s not THE most pressing I hurt too much to exercise the way I used to– partially a good thing. Spine mindfulness, so to speak.  Gentle walks, stretching and at home mat pilates swimming for now. Discontinuing Y membership and beloved NYT. 100.00 Savings. First Haircut in a year. Thanks, Clair. I don’t think you meant well. I think you need help for your brain tumor, beneign as it may be, it’s interfering with your decision making process. I feel for ya. I don’t feel so well myself. But we’re not good for each other and never will be.

90’s Film “Swimming With Sharks” w/Kevin Spacey

spaceyswimsharkskevinsharks

It’s “Shark Week.” And I’m back out in the water, crawling my 1 1/2 miles with a back brace on to prevent me from aggravating my spine twisting my torso too far when I turn right and left for a breath of air.

Little by little, we lose things we love and adjust, accept and move on. I’m the worst, constantly trying to ‘have iot all,’ as my health deteriorates. lololol! I need to go back to AA and practice “Acceptance” and  “Life on Life’s Terms.” Did those faces trigger or seem punitively grim to anyone else? Or am I the only one?

 

Anyway, movies like these, (and I’ll bet you never heard of “Swimming With Sharks),” helps me with chronic pain. Maybe cuz it’s my favorite topic: Hollywood Studios and the machinations taking place behind the walls.

It was an indie film and did not get wide distribution. I lived in LA when it came out and also when the film “Affliction” was released, featuring Nick Nolte, Willem Dafoe, Sissy Spacek and the late James Coburn.  Family alcoholism and mental illness passed on and one in a small town in Maine. The bitterly cold climate was a perfect counterpoint to the simmering rage between brothers over ‘who fucked up the worst’ similar to Bloodline. These are Indie films with A-listers.

What does that tell you about Hollywood, Money And Power?

 

I taking on the ‘powers that be’ trying to address a side effect of antipsychotics that’s mostly covered up.

It’s a movement disorder. I have it.  If I say what, I’m afraid you’ll split. But it’s important. It may be rarer than we thought but it’s real. People at risk or showing early signs need to know.

Deal? Help me? Click and/or comment on this little story if you think we can help each other…. and I’ll find out who you are and we can talk about whatever. On WP, we do that, or at least that’s my experience.

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-mood-cycles-stop-fighting-and-win/

Bipolar Comorbid Inc. Bipolar Hope Article about the power of Passive Resistance

outofthewaterbullsharkFL

They’re after me.

Who is that “Strong” Woman behind these pictures? That loudmouth writer, Allison “Strong?”

The fight has gone out. Bipolar Comorbid Inc.  “Too much Information Driving Me Insane” (The Police)

But like Ali, the fire hasn’t left my eyes.

Last night binging “Bloodline” on Netflix, I heard the rock sax sounds of the band “Morphine,” doing a 90’s song, “Sharks Patrol These Waters.”

So looked for and found all my Morphine CD’s.

Predictably, they’re empty.

So are the Steely Dans.  Go. Passive. Again. Find strength in that.

Here’s my new bipolar hope article. Please be kind and click to its’ source, Bipolar Hope, bphope.com

(I’m measured by clicks).

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-mood-cycles-stop-fighting-and-win/

 

Fashion, not Hollywood are the only ones casting Asians

laperlasianLa Perla Ad

(Thank Gooodness, fashion is leading the way…representing Asian Beauty Big time)

As if there wasn’t already enough discrimination and racism in the world, whether you have depression, a bad job, bipolar, dwarfism, adhd,  a chronic physical illness now we have to put up with this????

When was the last time you saw a Hollywood movie with an Asian in the lead? Why Not?

The producers pitching the idea to the studios for production and distribution and ad money claim that because there are no Asian “A-listers” (A la Julia Roberts or George Clooney) that they can’t get dough if they go with lesser known actors. So they do see one color. Green.

It is sooo blatantly wrong to do things like cast Emma Stone as an Asian-American in ‘Aloha” with Bradley Cooper….even  Mickey Rooney played an Asian  lead Character. And these producers are just plain WRONG. Or scared. Or prejudiced. The most ethnically diverse franchise, “Fast and Furious” did hundreds of millions at the Box Office, for example.

FASHION on the other hand is in the midst of what they call “The Great Disruption.” See above. My sister works at high end lingerie designer “La Perla.” In the last 8 mo, 30% of her casting choices have been ladies of Asian descent. And boy do they sell some intimate wear!!!!  (Chanel, Gucci, Burberry, etc are right behind her).

She just got another job that will take her to LA with her three children and husband. But she has blazed a new trail for La Perla in a sagging luxury market post 2008. Go Sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!