This is my skills barter client, Magui. My Bipolar hope article is a virtual MANUAL on picking and choosing how to do this too.
They’re after me.
Who is that “Strong” Woman behind these pictures? That loudmouth writer, Allison “Strong?”
The fight has gone out. Bipolar Comorbid Inc. “Too much Information Driving Me Insane” (The Police)
But like Ali, the fire hasn’t left my eyes.
Last night binging “Bloodline” on Netflix, I heard the rock sax sounds of the band “Morphine,” doing a 90’s song, “Sharks Patrol These Waters.”
So looked for and found all my Morphine CD’s.
Predictably, they’re empty.
So are the Steely Dans. Go. Passive. Again. Find strength in that.
Here’s my new bipolar hope article. Please be kind and click to its’ source, Bipolar Hope, bphope.com
(I’m measured by clicks).
As many of you know, I have a neurological side effect from the antipsychotics that I’ve been taking all these sixteen years. It’s like severe Parkinson’s.
I take meds for it. Expensive meds.
Silverscript, my medicare part D, has suddenly cut me off, just days before my next refill. Previously, back in January they said I was covered until next Feb in 2017. Legally, you guys, can they do this?
The Nami statistics are thus: For those of us who take an antipsychotic, whether it’s a traditional old school Haldol or Thorazine or an ‘atypical’ like Invega, Geodon or Abilify, for a decade, they say that percentage of us who will get tardive dyskinesia is 30-60%. And that type of drug is not taken temporarily. Its a drug they give you and tell you you’ll be needing it for the rest of your life. So we’ll all be taking these meds for a decade unless we try to go without them, find out that we can, and get off of them. For me, it’s too late.
It’s also referred to as Parkinsonianism. There is no cure, only expensive symptom management.
I’m on a critical medication for this. My Part D, Silverscript, who is owned by the wonderful folks at CVS (wouldn’t that be a monopoly a pharmacy chain owning part D Medicare benefits?) who had approved me thru Feb of next year. Sent me a notice, …..ten days before my next refill that they are cutting me off. I have no time to react.
We have a piece of paper saying that I’m covered through Feb of next year, so how can they cut me off at the last minute? Ideas anyone? Has anyone done an individual appeal process? The doctor says on their end, they are out of options, have appealed this decision twice. Now I hear about it.
Will they still give me my meds while we are appealing this? Is this even legal?
Apparently, according to the Quran, a man may not lay with a woman who is already bearing a child. This is, according to the readings, so there is no confusion of paternity of the baby, once it’s born. This gets complicated with ISIS and their female slaves. All they have to do is capture them to enslave them. Back in the old days, they waited 30 days after buying or capturing or a new slave to see if she has her menstrual period..
But now, No Muss, no fuss. These girls are having abortions, getting hormone injections of Depo provera, taking birth control pills, the ‘day after’ pill and being hauled in for countless blood and urine tests to make sure they are not with child.
We associate contraception with women’s lib. This is anything but. They are making the reproductive decisions for the women themselves.
They are all for modern conveniences when it’s convenient.
These guys are in a hurry. After all, tomorrow they may go to Allah and all of those virgins in Paradise so they gotta move on what’s alive, in front of them and their property. When they tire of one, they give her away and procure another.
Raping a female slave is permitted in the Quran under any circumstance barring her being pregnant.
When I first wanted to learn how to make jewelry a few teachers told me they couldn’t work with me; frustrated at how slow I learned. Luckily for me I had a trip scheduled to see Mom in Arizona and she’s an expert. She has such fine skills. If you compare her work with mine it’s mind boggling. But that’s not what it’s all about.
Mom set up a jewelry table for me so she could rest when she needs to and I’d have something to do. She gave me the raw materials, like stones and findings that I needed. There are quite a few moving parts and tools involved. She probably spent twelve hours with me on that trip, helping me with the skills I could not wrap my mind around, like wire bending, and the making of loops to put earring findings on or other attachments. It’s got to be consistent and uniform in shape in side, otherwise it won’t hang the same and the different loop sizes will look silly.
I put up a site on Etsy and found out it’s more a place where ideas are stolen than appreciated and bought. In doing this I developed better photography skills, as the picture and description of an item are worth more than a thousand words. I spent money on lessons upon my return and also put out dough for nice stones like the above, which is Fluorite topped with embedded Swarovsky Crystal beads.
And then I got into writing and I just stopped. I’m going back. I think I need to.
I hate this word as a platitude or cliché but ‘balance’ is everything.
The Huffington Post has profiled my friend Dyane, who has post partum onset Bipolar Disorder. Like me, she spent a lot of time struggling for symptom relief and got it. Her story is going to be published by Post Hill Press in 2017, “Birth of A New Brain,” and I can’t wait to read it. Here is the link to the Huffington Post Story about Working Moms
Hi, it’s Allison.
I know your time is valuable which is why I’m hoping you’ll accept my check for reading and evaluating this letter about my metabolism.
I’m really strugging.
On a day to day basis, I journal my food and my hunger level. I’m rarely satiated-famished all day with a hunger level of 7. It’s hard to focus on anything, especially my writing and/or daily duties like hygiene and self-care when all I do is prepare healthy food to carry around with me so I can eat every hour.
The hunger is worse when I take my Metformin. Why do you think that might be?
Eating, even low carb meals makes it worse. I can’t figure this out and need your help.
I don’t have hunger pangs but a feeling of jittery irritability and the feeling that I’d do anything to get some food. Not sugar necessarily but I did faint recently in Kohl’s and had to eat half a candy bar.
So the only time I’m able to do anything with a clear is in the morning before I’ve eaten. It’s my ‘golden time.’
It’s hard to ‘do the right thing’ when the right thing makes life harder.
As you know, I’m on Clozaril, the drug causing this metabolic problem. But it helps me greatly with Tardive Dyskinesia, stabilizes my moods, helps me sleep predictably and regularly, even though I’m in pain most of the time.
I know you recommended I try Saphris or Latuda but those drugs likely as heck, according to my shrink, would aggravate my TD the same way Invega, Invega IM, Geodon, Risperdal and Zyprexa did. At the end of a three year period of no symptom control, even the sedating seroquel aggravated the tic, or rather; thrashing. Forget about sleep or signing my name. It was a horrible period of time.
I am one of the unlucky few who can’t take the highly effective first line treatment Benztropin (Cogentin).
I pay a high price for TD symptom relief beyond metabolic difficulties. Weight management is epic. Thank god I love exercise (weight train and 8 hours of cardio a week), and changed my diet to 95% raw foods.
I have monthly blood for absolute neutrophils and WBC, had to reduce my Enbrel for psoriasis and have to really take care of myself to have good labs. It’s a pain in the but safety protocol Teva and the other generic giants have in place to prevent agranular cytosis. (sp?)
As for your suggestion that I ‘get off Clozaril,’ I’ve tried. I put myself in intensive outpatient so I could try in a supervised setting. First we tried Invega, Seroquel, Risperdal, Abilify and Zyprexa, all of which aggravated my symptoms even more. You probably already know that atypical and traditional antipsychotics as well as Reglan cause Tardive Dyskinesia in the first place.
This is totally illogical but when one removes the causal drugs, even carefully titrating lower and lower there’s this “Withdrawal Emergent Syndrome” where the symptoms are wildly worse. I was admitted to the ER three times for this and as you might imagine, the ER docs just wrung their hands, shaking their heads. You’d have thought they were the ones in observation from the looks of their faces!
I’ve had bipolar I since my first full blown manic episode in ’89. For a long-termer like me, Lithium would have been worse. I’m glad it’s my only drug allergy or I might be on dialysis by now, much worse than what I deal with currently.
I need you to help me buy time on this metabolic thing, help me delay the progression. (Hopefully until after I die).
I’ve already had five foot surgeries (Fusions bilateral and more) from professional sports overuse injuries (pro beach volleyball in LA), and I really like what’s left of my feet!! LoL!
Is there any way that I could have my blood sugar levels monitored more frequently as I employ changes in my weight training, diet, herbs and other holistic approaches? I’m finding Cinnamon helps with the hunger but online the reports are mixed. You’re pretty advanced and I think you could really help me delay diabetes.
I might even try pancreatic supporting chiro and possibly acupuncture. But first I need to find out if my Metformin is too high or why I’m starving all the time.
I’d like to do this and ask you if you think I should see an endocrinologist.
Thanks so much for reading my missive. My shrink says I’m an ‘exotic.’ Thank God he puts up with me. I’ve stayed out of the inpatient psych ward for sixteen terrific years save a few long term bipolar depression relapses. Now that I’m writing for four different mags, life is pretty good, except when I’m hungry all the time!
Comments anyone? Anyone else out there struggling with these issues? I really hope to buy time until science catches up to this problem. Believe me, they’re scrambling. There’s just too much good money to be made!!!
I want to write a book that chronicles some of the more informational, colorful, and courageous aspects of my 25 year illness. I want people to hold it in their hands and feel less alone, less odd, less..well, hopeless. The book might take five years to write. And I’ve got to buckle down and get practical. It’s not about the money. It’s about being findable, accessible to those who need to hear a message of hope about Tardive Dyskinesia, mood swings, finding a good doctor and all that stuff that comes with this.
It’s about people being able to relate or even think…”wow, that bitch is nuttier than I ever was! Maybe there is hope for me after all.” Of course it gets complicated with the Eating Disorder that has been a big player in the whole game. A lot of folks can’t relate to that.
But the eating disorder deserves its own book, really. We’ve all had different journeys. I read an article about a young woman in the New York Times Magazine who had been on lithium for 20 years. Her big quote besides the lithium lakes in Bolivia was “I don’t believe in God, But I believe in Lithium.” But lithium is causing her kidneys to underfunction by 50%, and if she doesn’t switch soon to Depakote, (and hope that the switch works for her) she will be on a transplant list for a kidney in a few years. I sort of dodged that bullet, since my psoriasis is totally inflamed by lithium to where I look like a Leper. So eventually I got antipsychotics, came down with tardive dyskinesia…so which bullet did I dodge after all? It all looks like tradeoffs to me, when you get down to it.