Leaving this link got me banned from a Facebook site…what gives?????



The site was “I went to Rancho Santa Fe elementary school” (North San Diego County, just east of Del Mar.

The Admin reminder was ‘we want to be nostalgic, swap stories and keep things light.’

Most of the time, I did exactly that. I told some whoppers about listening to Dr. Demento, throwing oranges at cars and seeing Rocky Horror Show when it opened in London’s “West End,” their “Broadway.” Our teacher was scandalized but we were in the same row all the way across the theatre and there was no way she could get us out of there when Tim Curry started doin’ the can can “I’m a sweet Transvestite From Transylvania….uh huh”

The attention I got as a story teller and a published writer made people angry.

On my final visit (under someone else’s name) I asked,

“So when my book about growing up in the Ranch is released you don’t want to know about it?

Anyway, here’s what got me banned. maybe somebody felt guilty



For Prince’s sake, Cut 2 chase, cut the carnage, widen access to MAT & wipe out black market!!


I heard about Prince. So tragic. The Suboxone thing might not be the answer but it does reduce mortality by accidental and intentional overdose by 50%. Restricting access and insisting everyone immediately wean off does nothing to address the 8 in ten drug abusers/addicts who originally took narcotics for pain, both short term and chronic. Studies show 99% of them will relapse back onto heroin or worse. When you go to the street you get no medical warnings or advice and you never know what’s in the drugs you are buying.

I don’t think “The Box” is the Answer, in fact, I wonder about it being its’ own Satan, the negative facts suppressed for profit.

Everyone makes out, the pharmacies, drug dealers, doctors, drug companies…everyone but us.

Rapper Scarface: “We Can’t afford our drugs so we all gonna die CVS is slingin dope on every block worldwide!!!!!” They don’t have any responsibility to use because they’re in healthcare…why should they????? Not necessarily. Then there’s the beaurocratic nightmare of federal officials trying to do the right thing coming up against powerful lobbyists who want the Oxy to continue because it IS safer if used as directed. I had conservative, safe, minimal use of MS contin for 16 years before I quit because of side effects, my body unable to relieve itself of the meals eaten yesterday. That can kill you too. Then there’s the prescription laxatives that only buy a few more years of time. But we’re all buying time.

I for one am sooooo tired of paying for everyone who is chasing a high. I kid you not. I used to be an addict, now I’m not. Furthermore, I don’t abuse drugs…they abuse me. That’s why I quit. Cold Turkey. Done. Hundreds of leftovers left over that I rarely think about. Might need them if I get in an accident and access is so limited I can’t stand it. I’ve had ‘failed surgery syndrome’ when the bones of my feet wouldn’t knit together lasting three years after surgery, steel pins holding my feet together. Foot pain worse than back pain. Of COURS I took narcotics. Then, when they healed I immediately stopped. But the point is I was in legitimate pain due to doctor error and on pain meds long term and then stopped for ten years until my next ortho operation, thanks to ongoing exercise bulimia.  The switcher upper in my fight against cocaine addiction to suppress my appetite. It’s all sort of a hazy dream and my family has now disowned me. Bipolar My fault. My foot problems, my fault. Every new side effect or illness, my fault. My choice. This has been going on since DX.

I’ve been dealing with a night mare that would drive someone less stable to drink or another unhealthy coping  mechanism. Stigmatized by family since my diagnosis of bipolar, Stigma and I are fast friends. Because it came from family I associate it with love and don’t know when to walk away like in the case of the “BFF calling the cops on me and saying I’m suicidal, even though she’s got the plan and the means to attempt it for a fourth time secretly stashed away in her closet. And then this…….It’s about reverse diversity….do ya feel me?

Hey you guys…I just wrote this up. A formal complaint of long term abuse I endured by Quest laboratories over a seven year period because I was ashamed, cowed and didn’t think I deserved better. They almost succeeded in denying me my critical lab services to get my most important mood stabilizer. They are NOT going to get away with it. I may be one of the ‘little’ people but I’m “mad as hell and not going to take Stigma any more.”

Local Lab Chain’s Long Term Abuse, shame shame shame on YOU@!



To: Medicare’s Beneficiaries and Family Centers Care and Quality Improvement Center for quality Improvement Organization.

Re: Systemic and local problem in my seven years as a monthly client of Quest Labs, 3343 Sheridan Street Location, Hollywood, Florida. 33021-3606. (the last four digits of zip were hard to read).

This long letter, I’m sorry but there’s a lot to cover, chronicles a litany of abusive treatment, jeapordy of my health, healthcare and access to a most critical medication by one of your providers.

It’s a case of stigma, and if you get to page 8 you’ll see the ‘diversity in reverse’ racial discriminatory aspect as well. I don’t come out and say who’s what color but I do remember distinctly a conversation I had with the supervisor whose name is Augusta.  You’ll be able to see this sad scenario in full blown Technicolor. But there are other types of stigma, abuse, and discrimination as well. A systemic aspect infecting all aspects of the corporation. It can’t continue. You must be informed of this so it doesn’t happen to anyone else.

(I will be sending this to better business bureau, chamber of commerce and any other regulatory agencies I can find too. ‘

Do you want to hear the rest of it?  Let me know.

They say we can’t lose weight and keep it off? This bipolar shows how.

aquanotext  Are You Sure about this Or Are you just trying to sell your book?

The big news this week was “The Biggest Loser” and how all contestants gained back their weight and more. The ‘experts’ are weighing in and now saying ‘you can’t lose weight and keep it off.’

I am writing a metabolic series for bphope.com and part two of it is in this link for bphope.com.  Give me a click through, will ya? I need a pat on the back right now. Everyone is saying “No” today. And I hate that word.

I’ve never been much for ‘experts’ or authority figures of any sort, anyway.


Today’s drama: If Prince had Buprenorphine…sooner he’d still b alive


This relates to all the hysteria about opiates and the lack of attention paid to the treatment of chronic pain. Yes, Deb at CDC, noncancerchronicpainlivesmatter.

Prince may not have died in vain. From reading articles I found he and I had a lot in common. Chronic pain from too much over exertion. Mine is in my back. I am a responsible, steady, minimalist user and have reduced my dose by 2/3 as well as frequency. But the side effects are terrible and have finally caught up to me. How does this relate to Prince? Well, there is a guy who has stuck his neck out on the line, a maverick in the treatment of chronic pain using Suboxone and or Buprenorphine. Less side effects, no intoxication like the quick acting Vicodin, Tylenol 3 and 4, and Percocet and those lovable blues, the oxys. Those get ya high. Hook you in. I know first hand because I got off of them. Prince’s people had contacted Howard Feldman, whose treatment center is outpatient “Recovery Without Walls”  For anyone who has been in 12 step groups, the ‘abstinence only’ idea is great in theory but what do you do for the pain once you get off the pills? According to the literature and the studies and conclusions of his, there have been outside pressures restricting the use of this drug. A doc has to be licensed and can only prescribe it for 100 people. I found out yesterday that my hoity toity upscale pain clinic doesn’t have a license for it and my questions about a healthier non opiate alternative were met with skeptical frowns. Dr. Kornfeld’s son, Andrew, flew out to Paisley Park with an initial dose of Buprenorphine in his pocket to show Prince that he wouldn’t be dealing with terrible pain but Prince had one last go before the life saving mission was able to save him from himself. Basically guys, Buprenorphine is Methadone light, saves lives…by 75%, reduces disease transmission and if it had been more widely available instead of an insider’s secret he might still be alive today.

What do I do? In my next post, I’m going to show you the letter I am writing to the good doctor to try to find someone here in South Florida. It’s intimate and has awful details but maybe someone will relate to it.


This Bipolar “Biggest Loser” Still Winning 6 Years In.

tribal 013aquanotext

We can’t lose weight and keep it off? Rrrrreeeaaalllllly????


This week’s news:  Nearly every contestant from “The Big Loser” regained their lost weight and more.

The experts say : “Dieting Doesn’t Work.”

In 2010, Allison Strong lost the 60 lbs she’d gained on a new medication and kept it off. So far. 

“Me, My Metabolism and the Market” is the beginning of Allison Strong’s  bphope.com (bipolar hope) metabolic series as she pours over recent research and finds holistic ways to disprove the claims of leading nutritionists trying to sell books and articles.

Allison’s never been much for ‘experts,’ ‘authorities’ or the word ‘NO,’ to begin with.


Bullsharks in South Florida They Bite

bullsharkFLoutofthewaterThis is me, coming out of a long run followed by a two hour swim. I am exercise bulimic. I eat and then work out. I deal with Sharks.

Great Whites are more prevalent on the Pacific Coast and other colder water climates…I think Australia and South Africa have them. For warmer water and brackish water like we have in the Canals, (they have even found these bullsharks in the Mississippi River)!

I’m a thrill seeker and exercise addict (which has caused quite a few problems)… after a few orthopedic surgeries I temporarily turned to swimming long distances at the Olympic Pool at Stanford University. Later I began swimming way out in the Ocean, both in Mexico, Del Mar and finally now here in Florida. Boy, once you master the breathing and about 20 minutes passes, you get really high and I’m not sure why.

What keeps me from going out there now (but I’m going to return) are active Sharkbites not so far from home.  I saw a Mako and A skimmer out swimming a couple of times but once they saw me, they boogied. I live in Hollywood on the Atlantic Ocean. Bullsharks populate more northern areas of the Florida Atlantic coast like Vero beach and Daytona, partly because of the surfers, who they confuse with sea lions, etc.

We had a Bullshark Bite last week. It happened to a guy who was spearfishing and had loaded up the ocean water with blood. It’s called a “Provoked Attack,” in other words totally NOT the Shark’s fault.

Basically sharks are only interested in fish for food. We are too bony, in reality, for them.

I live in an area where there really is no food for them. But over on the West Coast, in the La Jolla Caves near San Diego, you’ve got all these seals sunning themselves on the rocks, and Great White
Bites are a plenty. Ten Miles up the Pacific is Del Mar, where there has never been a shark bite ever.

When I go swimming and there are schools of fish, I get spooked and get out of the water, right away. Anywhere there’s food, there’s bound to be sharks. They’ve got like radar and show up out of nowhere.


The youtube links to Tardive, can anyone reblog these?



People affected with tardive dyskinesia don’t circulate socially much. They’re often disfigured by the involuntary spasms, movements or in Dystonic cases, they are frozen in a contorted way.

rebels (2)I fought hard for three years to find relief for my symptoms so I could sign my own name, sleep at night and drive a car again. I went to so many doctors you would not believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m wanting to write a short book on it because I learned a lot about treatment, how to get it and what to look for. A lot of the info is in vlog 1 and 2 and I’m just asking people to reblog them in hopes of reaching more people. The 300 folks I’ve reached on IBPF’s site so far had told me some incredible, hard to believe freaky stuff. My vlogs are NOT alarmist or antimedicine…they are just helpful and low key. I did two sets, one of the sets was later in the afternoon after waking up and I was more animated. Here they are. Maybe they’ll brighten up someone’s day.

Tardive Vlogs Utube

Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCOR_YVo-ks

Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqfEX8jl-Zs

WP keeps screwing up… Let’s see if they can get this post right. You just never know w/some people

One thing about Allison Strong….she refuses to disappear because she has more problems than we’re comfortable with.

She spoke out when………The one person whose job it was to listen tuned out her every word!

She’s been warned by her good friend T to stop being pushy but old habits die hard. (That’s why the therapy)! 

She lives for clicks, shares, likes, nonlikes…  Sadly,  the primal, reflexive movement of your wrist is the yardstick she’s measured by …….well we all know about that.  

Her Article about the deaf therapist is now on bphope.com’s facebook page. Will ya click to let her know she’s still alive? She’ll repay the favor and then some, even if she has to hunt you down! Not really.



rebels (2)


The saga continues on April 8 as she takes down the disturbing dominance of “Top Ten” list format for mental  and physical health articles.