On the farm in Lexington Kentucky (family visit) w/3 sizes of clothes


Even tho I packed really carefully, when I landed I had slacks that fell off my butt and dresses I could not zip up. We are going to a fancy equestrian party tonight and luckily I had a stretchy maxi dress. I have gotten sloppy w/food, not lifted weights as much as I should and right now, sugar and carbs have ahold of me.  My AIC, which I worked on lowering for four months, has risen w/the 12 lb I gained (all in one place). It’s hard not to feel like my life is out of control right now. Alot of our activities while visiting Dad center around food and drink. And on the subject of ‘out of control,’ I forgot to plan for the weather. I brought too many coats and not enough shorts.

But look at this horse. Do you think he likes me any less for any of that? Of course not. He is a horse, of course, of course.

7 Superfoods to turn you into a fat burning machine!


There’s no ‘7 Foods, nor would I put a list (listicle) article on my blog! Gotcha!!! If you want a list, click these links about list articles- why I HATE & FEAR their growing dominance.



Before Seroquel I was ten pounds lighter than this. I am an exercise nut. Love it. Swimming is just one of my ‘things.’ Then I was put on Clozaril because it’s super sedating and I have tardive. Between it and the Xenazine Caring Voices Coalition (a charity for rare diseases) helps me get, and a benzo, I’m pretty good but struggle with weight.  In studies, Clozaril is twice as likely to result in weight gain, hunger, hyperinsulinism, metabolic syndrome and finally, type 2 diabetes, even weight independent diabetes.

I’m scared.

(Part 1 of 2) This Bipolar “Biggest Loser” is Still Winning, 6 Yrs In.

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All over this week’s news (May 4th-8th) it’s the sad fact that nearly every contestant from Reality TV show “The Big Loser”has regained their lost weight and then some. I’ve never seen hopelessness and defeat sell so much advertising.

The’experts’ now declare: “Dieting Doesn’t Work.”


Last week, it was low carb. Before that, it had to be low fat. Before that, we had to avoid butter and eat Crisco, with transfatty acids.. Then it was ‘Artificial sweeteners will kill you’..and so on.

Have they ever gotten it right? Ever wonder why the story keeps changing?

In 2010, I gained 60 lbs on a mandatory bipolar mood stabilizer, lost it, and have kept it off.  No fancy program, or diet food. (And I’m still on that dastardly medication). 

“Me, My Metabolism and the Market” is part one of an open ended series only on bphope.com.


(PART 2 is will be published on bphope.com and RIGHT HERE on Friday.) It’s called “Three Sizes of Clothes.”  Now, I keep them all. You never know.  I’m not invincible. Things might change. Right? Right.

Join me as I pour over recent research and employ holistic ways of disproving ‘experts’ in the field as they self promote off other people’s shame and misery.

You know me, ….I’ve never been much for ‘experts,’ ‘authorities’ or the word “NO,” to begin with. So this should be fun.

Words of the Day-Finally made the time to look up

Does anyone find a lack of time, or overbusiness to explore other curiosities and interests?  Learning new things is said to be good for depression, so I do it, and am a normally curious person depressed, normal, or manic.


Finally sat down w/my list of words I saw and pledged to index

to find out what they mean. I mean, I see them over and over again and sort of go ‘uh huh’ with a general gist but I truly want to know what they really mean. I’m such a geek I travel around with a pocket dictionary in my little kate spade (so cheap only 40.00 at the outlet mall..)

analogous…comparative in a way that makes clear. Like if you notice one day that you are picking up some traits of a parent that you don’t particularly rmember fondly but by comparing them and seeing suddenly how it’s so clear that the trait has been passed down.

bellwether…I thought this meant a ‘predictor’ and it sort of does…it refers to the lead sheep in a pack of them following the one in front.

dehiscense…this has to do with a surgical complication where the stitched up wound reopens and is common in obesity, post op swelling or infection or moving around too much, like being active too soon after surgery. It also is seen in diabetics (shudder…I’m prediabetic from years of atypical antipsychotics like Seroquel and Clozaril that I must take)….oh well, redouble my efforts clean up diet again!

anomaly, different than the norm or expected

plebescite…this term has resurfaced since Judge Scalia died and I see why. It has to do with a vote for or against upholding the constitution or other canon.

and finally quixotic…this means to be idealistic or overly optimistic about something.

This egghead is going to go watch TV. Back next week with another boatload of words seen in the New York Time.


You never know who’s behind the food-Perception is everything…





I was reading the business section last night about a division of Kraft coming out with an alternative snack. The company has some exotic health food name but the product is coming after wheat thins with these crackers made with sweet potato or chickpea. If I hadn’t read it was Kraft I would not have known.

Then I read about a new product from Quaker, who is owned by Pepsi. They are developing an ‘experiential’ food for an imagined snacking experience, the mid morning snack. It’ll be all ‘healthy’ and stuff, you’d never guess Pepsi owned it.

Perception is everything when it comes to food. Like they say, you sea it, you eat it on the seafood diet.

On Charlie Sheen, Dr Oz and How ‘Hopeful’ it all is…can you keep it down a tad?

Bipolarbrainiac says:

21/01/2016 at 18:15 I hate it when they try to candy coat it. Yeah, partly because if Sheen starts meds, he’s already in middle age, he may not spend as many years battling side effects as we do. I have Tardive Dyskineisa (see my videos on IBPF’s Youtube page under Tardive Dyskinesia or my IBPF blog “Move over, Movement Disorder) I have a weight independent metabolic progression of high blood glucose from Clozaril, which I take for Tardive Dyskinesia and also it’s the only second generation antipsychotic that doesn’t make me thrash, as tardive is directly linked to atypical and traditional antipsychotics from Geodon and Abilify to Haldol and Thorazine. I’ve struggled with my weight. My antidepressant makes me nauseated and it’s hard to hold it down. But it’;s the only one that works. So I hang out with a freshly lined trashcan at the ready. It’s projectile vomiting. I found out that eating a high fat dinner enables me to metabolize and hold down a ¼ size of the tablet, so I separate it from all my other meds, take it right after dinner and then two hours later, if I have not thrown up, I take my other regular night meds. Ohhhh, the lenghths we’ll go to in order not to be depressed or manic.

The story on the concentration of power in the hands of a few and unlimited pricing power is scary

The following is a fax I just wrote to my pharmacist, an indie who is really up on this stuff. He is the one who had my back; covering the inflated cost of my 62-year-old Benzo for Tardive Dyskinesia two months in a row thinking Medicare Part D would reimburse him. He took the loss two months in a row on my behalf. He’s got my back. do I have his????? This is what I ask myself and I urge you all…..skip the chains. Indies are where it’s at for cost and service. They get to know you and catch drug drug interactions and side effects your doctor might be too busy to catch. It’s their business and they are damned good at it.



Dear Ade,

Good Morning, The stories about monopolies and prescription drugs just keep getting worse.

I read this transcript of a testimony given for senate oversight committee of government reform re: prescription drugs. The guy’s name was Mark Merritt, claiming to head up the league of pharmacy benefit managers. He claims they leverage lower prices on prescriptions, bla, bla bla.

Then I read a New York Times article by a Yale University Endocrinologist who says that one of the three biggest PBM’s Actually IS CVS! Even tho insulin has been around forever, only three big companies control the market and have managed to keep tweaking their meds to extend patent protection all these decades. Her patient can’t afford the price of insulin once she hits the donut hole and can’t afford her medicine for the rest of the year because it’s too expensive and she doesn’t qualify for RX assistance or Medicaid. This is the situation I find myself in but I have more cash on hand than most.

Isn’t that a Conflict of Interest? She claims once her client hits the donut hole she can’t pay for her medicines and what’s worse, only three people …Lantus, Sanovi and Norvo Nordisc, make injectable insulin, a biologic, which has been extended patent protection for 12 years, not 7, and controls the insulin market until a biosimilar shows up. Every time I think I have the story figured out….it gets worse!!! Now I’m thinking of submitting a story to the Sun Sentinel. What have I got to lose? At least they are not compromised.


OK..More importantly,

I’m coming going out your way tomorrow to see the dentist so I have an RX list of stuff that’s close or due. I’m out of donut hole so I’m an aggressive consumer again, saving my extras for the months I can’t afford anything.

Here is the list: Valium, Metformin, Linzess, Lipitor. I’ll drop off the scripts. I see psychiatrist this week so anything we need I will find out from you.


Allison Strong

I’m asking your opinion if you have time could you answer?



Should I change my photo rom the current photo on the left, switching to the one up above on the left or up above on the right, leaning into my hand?

Which is better for my blog, “Bipolar Strength: Rebel With A Cause?”

I’m still a rebel but I stand FOR things, not against them. My friend has helped me see this, so I’m modifying my blog to reflect it.

My name is Allison Strong. I used to be an outspoken, highly rated female (obviously), alternative disc jockey, a continuation of a music scene that defied the status quo, sometimes to good effect.

It was an era when we could talk about depression. I even had a regular guest named “the cemetery guy” and people absolutely loved him!

My boss wasn’t sure about it but when he saw my ratings spike, it decimated every preconceived notion he had about what made ‘good radio.’ People were ok with the dark side. The ratings bore that out.


People won’t admit it but want a good image. That’s why I went with something professional, obviously contrived. But it was a mockup of the late movie star James Dean, and his titular film “Rebel Without A Cause.” That’s why I went with the wifebeater T shirt one.

I want to show rebellion and questioning the status quo, doing things like researching medicines and their side effects before taking them, instead of doing what I did, blindly loading up on high doses of certain meds that had permanent neurological side effects.


It is what it is. I’m not angry about it anymore but want to ‘clue in’ the next generation of people getting an automatic bipolar disorder diagnosis and given a set of meds to take without question. It might not be so easy to get off them as it was to go on.

You can actually go online and google a med and the one in its’ class with the most class action lawsuits for a particular side effect, well you can add 2+2 or you wouldn’t be reading this right now. If I’d only have known.

So what do you think? Stay with Wifebeater and the darkness or pick the LOLOL laugh my head off shot or another professional smiley commercial headshot?

What is best? I’m having a hard time giving up the James Dean image. It’s a tough call. But I am modifying my name.


aka bipolarbrainiac


Letter to Researcher of med related metabolic challenges

For those of you on meds that affect your metabolism, make you hungry and gain weight, science is addressing this. I’ve read a few studies and am following up with the researchers…studying the studies…so to speak. I’m doing a metabolic series for one of my mental health digital publishers and am digging around for new information. Here is a copy of the letter I wrote to one of the researchers of this med related phenomenon.tribal 013




Dear Dr. Tucker

I’m a person with bipolar disorder journeying towards type 2 diabetes because I must take Clozaril for Tardive Dyskinesia I’m under the impression that you did a study with Dr. Khalafian on metabolic changes related to atypical antipsychotics. I read it and wondered if there had been any follow-ups on possible future treatments either with BGP-15 or any other chemical compounds.

I lost the weight and kept it off through radical diet and lifestyle changes. I weight train regularly and get as many hours of cardio a week as there are days. I’m now on Metformin but my numbers are still on the rise.

I’m backed into a corner and wondered, as I’m a journalist (Bipolar Hope, NewLifeOutlook, NAMI etc.), there is any new information, especially as it relates to weight independent hyperglycemia.

I have that post prandial phenomenon where the simple act of eating, even if it’s healthy, balanced proportions of food groups makes me even more famished.

Many of the other writers hare having the same trouble. But you knew that. Looking for any followup information I can find I’m enclosing a self addressed, stamped postcard for you to jot down if you know of any more studies or progress made on this issue. If you’d be willing to converse via email or telephone, you can indicate this and just put it in the mail.

I’m doing a series on Bipolar Metabolism and am looking for anything I can to shine a ray of hope that medicine is making progress on this issue or continuing to study BGP-15.


Allison Strong bipolarbrainiacSFL@hotmail.com