Keep on Keepin’ on…re getting representation

al in german dress and new earrings

 

Such a proliferation of publications, right? We’ve got to find a place somewhere, right? I have trouble keeping them all straight as I target magazines to write articles supporting my first book. I’m doing this work beforehand. I was like this with homework, the day I got an assignment, I’d run home and work on it until it was done.

But you can’t exactly do this with a book. You can’t write a book all in one sitting.

So I keep track of what needs doing, papers scattered all over my office, kinda get manic.

Feel an urgency to get an agent or and/publisher to help shepherd me through this. I know many of you have self published but I think I need hand holding and legal vetting for my project. It’s about a highly inflammatory and political project. And I want to do it just right. Are agents harder or easier to get?

Indie Pharmacies an Endangered Species…The only kind who understands and cares

pills

I am on a tear to save independent pharmacies being driven out of business. If you read my stuff, you know I have bipolar/tardive/borderline diabetic side effects. When I got tardive my publix of fifteen years bumped me off. My complications were too much for them. I found an indie which is why I wrote this story. Indies are being driven out of business. Conflict of interest/collusion between pharmacy benefit managers and the drugstores they own and government laws that benefit….well you get the picture.

One click is all I need to support this movement.

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-strong-my-pharmacist-has-my-back/

 

#OnePatientOneGoodPharmacist

 

Suicidal Bipolar Projects ‘Plan,’ and I’m in Hospital?

How else can I say it, title it?

allicat

You are my people. My resource.

You hear it first.

My life is messy.

It’s not the worst.

My BFF turned my life upside down.

You guys know I have chronic pain and was looking for a way out. I went Cold turkey for over a week. The worst pain I’ve ever had except for the 60 day flare in reaction to an ‘interventional pain management’ pain doc. Yeah, ‘interventional’ all right. Between me and my life. Between me and my pocketbook. Once back on, thought I could not get off. But I’ve been sick ever since. Hey, you play you pay.

Weak and sick I wanted to go to the ER and check for an obstruction. On the way gonna stop by my BFF’s. I’d packed my low sugar high fiber foods and protein Shakes with Pomegranate in them and Off I was gonna go. Except for one hitch. She’d called the cops and said I was suicidal. Cuffed and dragged off to the psych ward. Then she called my father and told him private stuff. She’s always hated my husband. Partly because he doesn’t have money and she thinks I could do so much better.

I’ll really miss her. Foreign films, world affairs, someone intellectual, worldly and brainy to be around and another former disc jockey.

I think it’s a marketable story. What can I call it in seven words or less so that betrayal and paradox jump right off the page; promising a publisher clicks? Can I Sell it to Buzzfeed? Vice? Gawker? Who?  It’s got to be a rebellious type of publication. One that questions the system a tad.

The two publications I write for probably wouldn’t appreciate my caustic tone when I describe yanking the warden’s chains; claiming I’m a nationally published writer who is also in their daily newspaper, a mantle of credibility which happens to be true. People get starstruck.

The puzzlement on their faces was precious. Priceless.   Maybe it’s true. Maybe she’s here by mistake. Our mistake.

Where does this story of one friendship (probably a sick, codependant attachment) end and a new life of healthier pursuits and a more balanced set of associates begin?

Because it’s not really about what she did to me, it’s about why I attract people to my life sicker than I am. That’s what’s nuts.  Then I share my intimacies. Totally Bonkers.

All along I assumed she understood and she’d just been laying in wait to get me locked up somewhere.  She’s disapproved of my level of care and self care all along, right down to the cooler full of raw foods, low sugar fruit, protein and water I carry around.

Suicidal Bipolar Projects ‘Plan,’ and I’m in Hospital?

How else can I say it, title it?

allicat

You are my people. My resource.

You hear it first.

My life is messy.

It’s not the worst.

My BFF turned my life upside down.

You guys know I have chronic pain and was looking for a way out. I went Cold turkey for over a week. The worst pain I’ve ever had except for the 60 day flare in reaction to an ‘interventional pain management’ pain doc. Yeah, ‘interventional’ all right. Between me and my life. Between me and my pocketbook. Once back on, thought I could not get off. But I’ve been sick ever since. Hey, you play you pay.

Weak and sick I wanted to go to the ER and check for an obstruction. On the way gonna stop by my BFF’s. I’d packed my low sugar high fiber foods and protein Shakes with Pomegranate in them and Off I was gonna go. Except for one hitch. She’d called the cops and said I was suicidal. Cuffed and dragged off to the psych ward. Then she called my father and told him private stuff. She’s always hated my husband. Partly because he doesn’t have money and she thinks I could do so much better.

I’ll really miss her. Foreign films, world affairs, someone intellectual, worldly and brainy to be around and another former disc jockey.

I think it’s a marketable story. What can I call it in seven words or less so that betrayal and paradox jump right off the page; promising a publisher clicks? Can I Sell it to Buzzfeed? Vice? Gawker? Who?  It’s got to be a rebellious type of publication. One that questions the system a tad.

The two publications I write for probably wouldn’t appreciate my caustic tone when I describe yanking the warden’s chains; claiming I’m a nationally published writer who is also in their daily newspaper, a mantle of credibility which happens to be true. People get starstruck.

The puzzlement on their faces was precious. Priceless.   Maybe it’s true. Maybe she’s here by mistake. Our mistake.

Where does this story of one friendship (probably a sick, codependant attachment) end and a new life of healthier pursuits and a more balanced set of associates begin?

Because it’s not really about what she did to me, it’s about why I attract people to my life sicker than I am. That’s what’s nuts.  Then I share my intimacies. Totally Bonkers.

All along I assumed she understood and she’d just been laying in wait to get me locked up somewhere.  She’s disapproved of my level of care and self care all along, right down to the cooler full of raw foods, low sugar fruit, protein and water I carry around.

New Youtube Channel and uploaded Tardive Dyskinesia Video

 

I have a learning issue. It’s meds, racing thoughts,al in german dress and new earrings adhd and middle age so I have a social media person come over once a week. Some things happened at my magazine, like changing the name of my article and not telling me, which made me feel really sad. I’m just sad today. Anyway, to cheer me up and take back control of my activism and journalism, We created a YouTube Channel and uploaded my tardive dyskinesia videos on there. If you know anyone who has that problem, I learned a lot during my three year

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFrrhgSBHa6_4FIw1ydlG7Qarch for treatment.

Washington Post re: Prince, Buprenorphrine, barriers to access, stigma

prince

You guys….there’s a story here and it’s bigger than we know. There’s a better drug for pain, and we have no knowledge of it and even less access to it. Prince was going to go all the way to California for it. You know what killed Prince? He ran out of time and stigma. I’m having some of the same problems. The side effects are killing me. I take less than prescribed. Somedays I excruciatingly don’t take any in order to keep my dosage down. But the side effects. Buprenorphrine is cleaner, doesn’t go through your digestive tract, doesn’t burden the kidneys and even has a ceiling on how much it can affect or slow down your respiration, so it’s way safer. What is the deal????????????????? No one is talking.

By Maia Szalavitz

PostEverything

May 9

Maia Szalavitz is a journalist and author, most recently of the forthcoming “Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addictions.”

Prince performs at halftime of the Super Bowl in 2007. (JEFF HAYNES AND ROBERTO SCHMIDT/AFP/Getty Images)

Prince’s greatest music hit the radio while I was going off the rails during my own opioid and cocaine addiction. The young man who gave me my first injection was a massive fan and played “Kiss” for me around the same time he introduced me to the needle. I was soon hooked on both Prince and injecting.

That’s why it hit me especially hard when I learned that this musical genius’ overdose death occurred a day before he was due to start treatment. This tragedy makes clear that what likely killed him, and is killing so many others, is not just addiction itself, but the stigma we attach to it and, even worse, to the most effective treatment for it.

If we really want to stop the overdose epidemic, we need to get serious about providing the only treatment known to reduce the death rate by 50 percent to 70 percent or more: indefinite, potentially lifelong, maintenance on a legal opioid drug like methadone or buprenorphine. The data on maintenance is clear. If you increase access to it, death, crime and infectious disease drop; if you cut it short, all of those harms rise.

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Prince was supposed to see a doctor, known for using buprenorphine to treat addiction, just a day after his death. But most patients — even most celebrity patients — do not actually get this sort of evidence-based care.

Indeed, most people concerned with opioid addiction don’t know that they should be looking for maintenance, or they avoid it thanks to the stigma against long-term medication treatment — research shows that maintenance patients experience prejudice and discrimination from family, friends, health care workers and employers. Even I perpetuated the stigma myself in the past, in an anti-methadone op-ed in the 1990s. At the time, I thought that simply having experienced addiction qualified me as an expert and incorrectly relied on anecdote, not data.

For both methadone and buprenorphine, access is highly limited. Only 30,000 physicians are licensed to prescribe buprenorphine, but most who are licensed don’t prescribe it and each is currently limited to seeing 100 patients. When used for addiction treatment, methadone is regulated to an extraordinary degree — it’s illegal to prescribe outside of those rundown clinics, and NIMBYism keeps them located in poor neighborhoods.

Minneapolis fans: Prince’s legacy ‘will live on’

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One day after music icon Prince was found dead at his suburban Minnesota compound, music fans were still in shock, as memorials grew. (McKenna Ewen/The Washington Post)

To top it all off, the 12-step support groups that addicted people are urged or even required to attend as part of treatment often see people on maintenance as not “really” in recovery.

These practices are deadly. We’ve got to get over the idea that medication for opioid addiction simply “replaces one addiction with another” and doesn’t count as getting better. To do so, we need a far better understanding of what addiction really means.

In many people’s minds — due to concepts popular in the ’70s and early ’80s — addiction means physically needing a substance to function and becoming physically ill when deprived of it. From this perspective, the biggest barrier to quitting is suffering through the nausea, pain, shaking and diarrhea that accompany withdrawal. And, from this point of view, people who are on maintenance treatments are actually “still addicted.” But this definition of addiction was dropped by experts long ago.

One reason this view fell out of favor was the rise of crack cocaine. Cocaine and stimulants, like methamphetamine, don’t cause physical withdrawal symptoms — if addicted people suddenly stop taking them, they don’t get physically ill. However, they absolutely experience irritability, anxiety and craving that is every bit as intense and likely to lead to relapse as that associated with alcohol or opioids. This makes stimulants like crack highly addictive.

Though we tend to think otherwise, physical withdrawal isn’t the main barrier to abstinence; instead, craving and the sense that drugs are essential for emotional survival are at the core of addiction. In my own case, I put myself through withdrawal from heroin addiction at least six times. Never once during these attempts did I relapse while ill. Instead, I returned to drugs after withdrawal illness had passed — not because I felt physically bad, but because I had convinced myself that “just once” would be okay.

So what is addiction if it isn’t defined by tolerance or withdrawal? Psychiatry, through its diagnostic manual, the DSM, sums it up as compulsive behavior that recurs despite negative consequences. This means that maintenance helps users conquer their addiction by replacing addictive compulsion with physical dependence.

Craving, obsession, intoxication and consequences are gone; tolerance and steady dosing mean that patients are not impaired and can drive, care for families and work. What remains is a physical need for the substance to avoid withdrawal.

And such dependence isn’t harmful, per se: We’re all physically dependent on oxygen, food and water, and some of us (like yours truly) are physically dependent on antidepressants or other types of medication. If the consequences of physical dependence are positive, it’s not addiction. Which is why I don’t sit around dreaming of Prozac, yearning for my next dose, taking more and more and hiding my obsessive behavior.

Of course, like any other addiction treatment, maintenance doesn’t always lead to recovery. Indeed, as with abstinence-only treatment — though at a lower rate — relapse is the most common outcome.

Importantly, however, unlike in abstinence-only treatment, patients benefit from maintenance even during relapses. That’s because, whether or not people continue taking other drugs in an addictive fashion, the tolerance provided by maintenance pharmacologically makes overdose death much less likely.

The ongoing use of other drugs during relapse explains why so many people see maintenance as a failure and maintenance patients as being constantly high — but retaining relapsers in treatment is a feature, not a bug. It reduces mortality, disease and crime and keeps patients in health care.

Unfortunately, most families and friends of addicted people don’t understand this. They tend to seek abstinence-only inpatient rehab because maintenance is stigmatized, and the media rarely highlights its dramatic reduction in mortality. Instead, we hear about relapse or people selling their maintenance medications on the street. Ironically, that street market exists primarily because we don’t make maintenance accessible enough. Maintenance drugs wouldn’t be valuable if people who wanted them could get them, whether or not they are ready for abstinence.

Prince’s death was awful enough. A man lost his life, we lost a great artist — and we also lost the chance for him to model and destigmatize the best treatment we currently have for addiction.

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Comments

Buprenorphine for pain is it legal or not? Why the restrictions?

 

pills

I read the conclusions on the studies that Prince’s would-be doctor wrote about his use of Buprenorphrine for pain. It’s been FDA approved for pain, one article said. It’s been around and FDA approved for pain since 1981, another article said, that a doc just needs the regular ol dea certificated to prescribe it ‘off label.’ If it’s FDA approved for pain, then why is that application ‘off label?’  The more I read about this, the more betrayed I feel by my healthcare providers, all of them.  I wrote Prince’s would be doc a letter and poked around the net for providers. This thing stinks. There’s a story here.

The drug was developed in the UK for the treatment of chronic pain in 1971. That’s when our FDA approved it too.  There is a restriction on how many docs can use it. One article said 30 patients at a time and another said 100.00. For addiction, the doc needs a class and special certificate. For chronic pain, as I just said, a regular DEA cert is all any MD, particularly a primary, needs. The transition from one to the other is touchy.

Most of the phone numbers on the net were disconnected and another doctor said that it’s illegal to use buprenorphrine for pain. He was an ass, too. Then I spoke to another practice who uses Buprenorphrine for pain and charges 175 a mo…because in a month’s time, you might need quite a few med adjustments and visits. Another doc charged 350 for first three visits. The price of a tablet of subutex, which is for chronic