Trauma, Drama Weaks of the Word (Words of the Weak)

aquanotext

Hi

The thing with my BFF getting me locked up by calling the cops on me, my ongoing chronic pain, the fallout after my BFF called my father and told him lies about drug abuse on my husband’s part…so much to deal with in a short amount of time.

Then I called Medicare to find out if the blood lab had violated Medicare law by denying me service by using the reverse diversity hostile stall technique. And I filed a formal complaint with an agency you might be interested in if you are on Medicare or have family who is.

The Medicare Beneficiary Centers for Care and Quality Improvement. I wrote them a 7 page letter; reflecting the litany of abuse I took over a seven year period but if you really need to unload you can leave them a detailed message. 844-455-8708.  I’m following through on this one, even though reliving it’s a nightmare. I sure wish their was an agency I could use to deal with for my former BFF.

So many ideas for stories but I am so close to the material that I must just jot down phrases and ideas and wait for some time to pass. Do you guys know what I mean?

This piece of paper that has all my new words on it is my way of normalizing much of my life. I don’t even know what day it is, let alone what weekend to program this for so I’ll just do it for today ok?

abjure (in reference to saying now to interviews) solemnly renounce.

Numinous  of Divinity or Sacred

Palindromic: a Word that reads the same back and forth.

Trogladyte (used to describe Trump) People who used to live in caves. Paleo.

Wonkish ( I think I’ve done this one before) Nerdy.

Poujadist extremist conservative movement in France, the emphases being on protecting their assets. This would apply to certain 1%ers.

 

Suicidal Bipolar Projects ‘Plan,’ and I’m in Hospital?

How else can I say it, title it?

allicat

You are my people. My resource.

You hear it first.

My life is messy.

It’s not the worst.

My BFF turned my life upside down.

You guys know I have chronic pain and was looking for a way out. I went Cold turkey for over a week. The worst pain I’ve ever had except for the 60 day flare in reaction to an ‘interventional pain management’ pain doc. Yeah, ‘interventional’ all right. Between me and my life. Between me and my pocketbook. Once back on, thought I could not get off. But I’ve been sick ever since. Hey, you play you pay.

Weak and sick I wanted to go to the ER and check for an obstruction. On the way gonna stop by my BFF’s. I’d packed my low sugar high fiber foods and protein Shakes with Pomegranate in them and Off I was gonna go. Except for one hitch. She’d called the cops and said I was suicidal. Cuffed and dragged off to the psych ward. Then she called my father and told him private stuff. She’s always hated my husband. Partly because he doesn’t have money and she thinks I could do so much better.

I’ll really miss her. Foreign films, world affairs, someone intellectual, worldly and brainy to be around and another former disc jockey.

I think it’s a marketable story. What can I call it in seven words or less so that betrayal and paradox jump right off the page; promising a publisher clicks? Can I Sell it to Buzzfeed? Vice? Gawker? Who?  It’s got to be a rebellious type of publication. One that questions the system a tad.

The two publications I write for probably wouldn’t appreciate my caustic tone when I describe yanking the warden’s chains; claiming I’m a nationally published writer who is also in their daily newspaper, a mantle of credibility which happens to be true. People get starstruck.

The puzzlement on their faces was precious. Priceless.   Maybe it’s true. Maybe she’s here by mistake. Our mistake.

Where does this story of one friendship (probably a sick, codependant attachment) end and a new life of healthier pursuits and a more balanced set of associates begin?

Because it’s not really about what she did to me, it’s about why I attract people to my life sicker than I am. That’s what’s nuts.  Then I share my intimacies. Totally Bonkers.

All along I assumed she understood and she’d just been laying in wait to get me locked up somewhere.  She’s disapproved of my level of care and self care all along, right down to the cooler full of raw foods, low sugar fruit, protein and water I carry around.