Recovery Beyond AA just want people to know there are options based on real science

sobertruthunbroken brain

 

Ironically, lately, I have been having to ‘work a program’ on a work situation. Acceptance, doing it their way. Removing my ego and proactive nature and allowing them to tell me what THEY want. Working on my ‘attitude of gratitude’ that I have a home to learn and grow in my writing.

Then, this post kinda knocking the program comes out. What am I supposed to do….ignore it? What do you think? Am I obnoxious or what?

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-strong-free-recovery-programs-beyond-the-twelve-steps/

I feel Like Morrissey….”Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”…I was looking for a job and then I found a job…

Yesterday I heard uptempo "November Spawned A Monster on Indie 103.1's "Breakfast with The Smiths." Listen at your own risk for depression! lol
Yesterday I heard uptempo “November Spawned A Monster on Indie 103.1’s “Breakfast with The Smiths.” Listen at your own risk for depression! lol

I promise I won’t write about tardive dyskinesia, even though our numbers doubled last year. Mention it and people assume you’re radioactive, I swear.

 

A lot of stuff I’ve tried to do this week has either been shot down or flat out rejected…..I’m seeing the quality fade from my work. A lot of it is ‘circling the wagons’ at the end of 2017 to see all my specialists and get all my checkups done so I don’t end up eating my deductible in early 2017 out of necessity.

 

I keep seeing all these Open Enrollment “Try our Medicare Disadvantage Plan” ads. They tell you what you get, but not what you don’t. The lists of providers and preferred medications are not available. In what way is that fair? We can’t even be educated consumers.

Just changing or correcting that alone would go a long way to helping make sure we get our needs met next year.

Apple’s ITunes Stole 3009 of my songs and I can’t get ’em back!

applworm2

 

Case #100049365971

Ongoing for 8 mos.

Number of times called customer service: 9

Times I had computer nerds come to the house to help (and payed them): 5

Time spent on hold or talking to inept people who can’t fix it: 40

Tears shed over not being able to purchase new music either: 9

Anger over big, faceless corporations taking over matters close to the heart such as health care and music, for starters…big time.

This is theft of 3000 dollars.

Who else sells music?

What recourse do I have, call the FTC?

Words…why they turn me on?

AlLiliPulPink

This is what Sunny South Florida will do to you if you go walking, etc.

Vertiginous: Steep, high, causing someone to become dizzy.

Parapet: A low protective wall.

Riverine: Of a river or a riverbank. What context, I wonder?

Pileated: Having a cap like a mushroom. Maybe a hat is what they are speaking of.

Purloined: Steal, thievery

Bipolar Comorbid Inc. Bipolar Hope Article about the power of Passive Resistance

outofthewaterbullsharkFL

They’re after me.

Who is that “Strong” Woman behind these pictures? That loudmouth writer, Allison “Strong?”

The fight has gone out. Bipolar Comorbid Inc.  “Too much Information Driving Me Insane” (The Police)

But like Ali, the fire hasn’t left my eyes.

Last night binging “Bloodline” on Netflix, I heard the rock sax sounds of the band “Morphine,” doing a 90’s song, “Sharks Patrol These Waters.”

So looked for and found all my Morphine CD’s.

Predictably, they’re empty.

So are the Steely Dans.  Go. Passive. Again. Find strength in that.

Here’s my new bipolar hope article. Please be kind and click to its’ source, Bipolar Hope, bphope.com

(I’m measured by clicks).

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-mood-cycles-stop-fighting-and-win/

 

Chronic pain compounded by tardive dyskinesia…please don’t write about what you don’t understand.

al in german dress and new earrings

I safely used ms contin for sixteen years, all the while hydrating, swimming, pilates, Wobenzyme, Pau’ D’Arco, Turmeric (anti inflammatory diet, rabbit food regimen) regular stretching, etc, for pain and round after round of expensive injections (12 in all..they all cost 200.00 and they all failed).

One of them caused a severe flare, causing me to ACTUALLY use the amount prescribed. Mostly, I took way less, taking cold turkey ‘vacations’ to drive DOWN my tolerance/dosage.

The other one was a test for “Coolief,” the burning of the entire nerve branch block of my lumbar spine. It’s tens of thousands of dollars and Medicare doesn’t prior authorize it. I’d lose my house. That’s one thing in life I’m not incurring penalties and interest on, like the taking of pain medicine. Hey, I know it’s long term bad but I can’t take the present of my ‘present.’ I don’t abuse my meds. I stopped because they were abusing me, idiots.

And I have bipolar and a history of drug abuse. And I’m intelligent and left handed, creative. So if I’m such a drug addict, why is it, tell me, that when I finally stopped at 1/3 of what I had been taking in prior years, there were 250 extra pills left over? Because I kept cutting them up in an effort to get by with less and the pills that couldn’t be cut in half, I saved for a rainy day. I can’t take them anymore anyway. They sit here and I don’t think about them until I read an article by someone who thinks there is no benefits of taking opiates for non cancerous chronic pain. For palliative care only. I have the spine of an 85 year old at 55. I was a professional athlete and exercise bulimic, under a ton of pressure to be thin to do commercials and modeling. It’s a disease, not just a vanity thing. I’ve been to eating disorder treatment twice, both for4 60 days. Bankrupted me and my family.

On the pain thing  But I don’t think you understand the agony of a psoriatic arthritic whose injuries are compounded by the uncontrollable muscle spasms of tardive dyskinesia, a rare but real side effect of my bipolar medications, which I take like clockwork and have also tried to reduce or discontinue. You probably don’t believe in bipolar either but trust me, without these meds I have delusions I have children and fixate on stop signs.

Please, people, talk to people who are truly in pain. Who need their meds to work when the pain is truly excruciating, unlivable.

Please, opiate haters, Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.

Bipolar Comorbid Inc. Bipolar Hope Article re power of Passive Resistance

outofthewaterbullsharkFL

They’re after me.

Who is that “Strong” Woman behind these pictures? That loudmouth writer, Allison “Strong?”

The fight has gone out. Bipolar Comorbid Inc.  “Too much Information Driving Me Insane” (The Police)

But like Ali, the fire hasn’t left my eyes.

Last night binging “Bloodline” on Netflix, I heard the rock sax sounds of the band “Morphine,” doing a 90’s song, “Sharks Patrol These Waters.”

So looked for and found all my Morphine CD’s.

Predictably, they’re empty.

So are the Steely Dans.  Go. Passive. Again. Find strength in that.

Here’s my new bipolar hope article. Please be kind and click to its’ source, Bipolar Hope, bphope.com

(I’m measured by clicks).

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-mood-cycles-stop-fighting-and-win/

 

Bipolar Comorbid Inc. Bipolar Hope Article about the power of Passive Resistance

outofthewaterbullsharkFL

They’re after me.

Who is that “Strong” Woman behind these pictures? That loudmouth writer, Allison “Strong?”

The fight has gone out. Bipolar Comorbid Inc.  “Too much Information Driving Me Insane” (The Police)

But like Ali, the fire hasn’t left my eyes.

Last night binging “Bloodline” on Netflix, I heard the rock sax sounds of the band “Morphine,” doing a 90’s song, “Sharks Patrol These Waters.”

So looked for and found all my Morphine CD’s.

Predictably, they’re empty.

So are the Steely Dans.  Go. Passive. Again. Find strength in that.

Here’s my new bipolar hope article. Please be kind and click to its’ source, Bipolar Hope, bphope.com

(I’m measured by clicks).

http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-mood-cycles-stop-fighting-and-win/