Was a professional beach volleyball player, very very active exercise bulimic, exercise addiction have had 4 foot surgeries, and big ones, 2 knee surgeries, and am now 56, 2 days away from 57. On and off opiates for 25 years, post operatively and when surgeries went south due to doctor malpractice.
Been thinking about opiate epidemic alot and the thread that runs through depression, despair and addiction, because I fell in that trap. I ended up taking an unusual way out, not the traditional dogma and so forth. I’ve been to so many different programs OA, AA, group therapy and hospitalization for same, surgeries from overexercise, and being that as an actor, thin was in..1970’s, Post Twiggy Lauren Hutton Culture, the opiates…well they snuck through the side door when cocaine was the main attraction. It follows, in this case, I needed an alternate egress of escape.
Same with my Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) I got from my atypical antipsychotic, one that they don’t prescribe much anymore it’s so neurologically aggravating, according to comparative studies of these products. I have these uncontrollable movements, also bad for pain, especially if you have it.
This conditions are one big knot of iatrogenic (Caused by drugs, medical treatment or medicine itself) disorders, particularly psych drugs. The fallout of all of it, especially the side effects of widely popular, highly profitable medication is the big elephant in the room. I hate to use this overused catchphrase, but it’s stigma. Even though the drugs caused these problems, I always felt I was the disease.
Just like with the opiate epidemic. Who wants to stand up and say that they never want to get high again but at the same time can’t imagine a life without Even thinking about it is abysmal. Who wants to commit to quitting, something they can’t commit to? Plus, people are in legitimate pain, at least, I was.
There’s a whole new way of looking at Addiction and some of the limitations of the traditional, one size fits all, punitive ‘the program.’ Don’t get me wrong. If it weren’t for AA I might not be alive, but there are some things about it I’m glad I left behind.
Black and white thinking, for one. Paternalism, for two. Little digs at the soul such as “Once an Addict Always an Addict” not helpful to me.
On the other hand, the big book of AA is one of the most inspired texts on the planet. I believe it was a divine act, or Bill and Bob were savants of one sort or another. As Bobby Womack sort of sang in “Across 110th Street” ( Tarantino’s “Jackie Brown,”) You never know what you’ll do until your back is…I’m going to go look that lyric up right about now. Music is Medicine to me.