Bipolar Depression…it’s baaacckkk! and 2,000 of my ‘Itunes’ songs are ‘Missing!’ Still!


I’m depressed again.

This really sucks. How long’s it gonna last? I can’t think of any antidepressant I HAVEN’T TAKEN. So what do we do?

When it hit me, I spent the next two days in bed. But I can’t do that. So I crawled out and went to starbucks, my daily routine with the newspaper. I’m going to continue writing and blogging and doing the stuff I do…I just don’t enjoy it half as much.

Even lifting weights. I do it because I believe it’s really good, physically, for the mind. Prevents cognitive decline. So I’ve been going on iTunes, even though I’m one of the people who have that bug, and burning songs. Some that I buy won’t download. They have this little exclamation point right to the left. There are tons of forums about this.


Apple’s position? The problem is on our end and they take no responsibility. In the meantime I purchase new music by Guided By Voices, Daft Punk and even the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who I was never that crazy about. Like Primus. You call that music? I donnaknow.


I’m the Worst Blogger in the World and Now, I need Help

I’m Allison and Have Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Pain, Tardive Dyskinesia and possibly Sjogren’s syndrome. (I find out today on the Sjogren’s…genetically, it makes perfect sense).

I’m in bipolar depression relapse, which is awful. I had a great 2 1/2 years of remission.

Over the course of the last 17 years I’ve had perpetual, off and on med burnout, which has a very geeky name, Antidepressant Therapy Tachyphylaxis, which means the antidepressants just stop working. I think a lot of people have this problem but there’s a black void where knowledge should be.

Articles on it, and other names for it, like “Prozac Poopout” are all over the internet. In the past we’ve resolved it over time by cycling to newer meds. Pristiq, then Viibryd and finally Brintellix, (now called Trintellix) and then Fetzima, which didn’t work.

Two different times we used Trintellix, which worked for a few years, and needed to be discontinued and then worked again when we ‘recycled it.’

I’m worried. I think I’ve burnt out all the drugs that act on Dopamine, Serotonin, Norepinephrine and need to go to a different class like a tricyclic or MAOI. The fact that I have Tardive Dyskinesia reduces our treatment options greatly.

I think it might eliminate an MAOI, because monoamines factor into TD…in some way.

I’m just really scared.