Antipsychotics…..all different, I found out by experimentation

tiarawithoutsilver 001 I’m not bashing atypical antipsychotics..compared to the alternative mood stabilizers they are cleaner  …..antipsychotics are great.

Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t give up my Clozaril for a minute. Even though it requires monthly bloodwork.

But there are ways to take your medicine judiciously and reduce your odds.

This picture was taken back in the day when I was on Geodon, not the right drug for me. It made me more manic. Then, Abilify, which is said to be ‘helpful for depression,’ made me depressed!  I told my doctor and he shhshsed me. Did you know that psychosis is a side effect of discontinuing antipsychotics?

When I finally got off of Abilify, I was hearing voices again.  Mercifully, it was during a hurricane, so it was normal for the shutters to be closed and the house dark. I was psychotic the first three days. That’s a side effect of trying to get off antipsychotics, I found out.

Antipsychotics block D2 (dopamine receptor) and after a while, the D2 receptor, wanting what it’s been deprived of, become increasingly sensitive to even the least little bit. That’s when movement disorder occurs. If I’d just stayed on Seroquel, I think I would have been ok.

The reason I say this is when my shakes showed up, I was on Geodon. I had no idea I’d even been on antipsychotics. In clinic, We went back to Seroquel and my symptoms disappeared….for a year.

Then we put me back on a ‘weight neutral,’ Invega.

The shakes came right back. We went back to Seroquel and they lessened.

You probably aren’t interested in this stuff, but believe me, with tens of millions of Americans don’t even know they are taking relatives of Thorazine. Their likelihood of getting TD, (according to NAMI and MHA)is 30-50% after long term exposure (and these drugs are meant to be taken for life). They are not bad meds, but lower doses and nutrition are just two of the ways people can reduce their risk. But if they don’t even know, like I didn’t, how can they think preventatively?

Computer wierdness


What’s going on?

I was responding to an email and it just slipped away. I have to ask the sender, (a high -level neurologist I don’t want to pester) to resend. It’s not in deleted, sent, drafts…

Then I went to Tumblr and when I hit ‘post’ it wouldn’t post. It just quivered up at the top. I don’t know what the issue is.

Then, some days, my ‘attachment’ function works simply and easily, while other days I have to drag and drop and then on the worst days, I can’t do either and I have to put my stories in the body of the email.

I lost my grant for Tardive Medicine which makes me angry because the manufacturers of the agent that caused it should chip in at my extra expenses. I’m working on the chapter of the book “Where to Turn.”

Good Question. At least Google still works!

We’re all hoping Medicare Privatization happen but it’s Trump, Sessions’ and Ryan’s ‘go to!’

Privatization is the only speedy way to repeal the ACA, clean up the VA so it’s not such an eyesore, maintain nursing homes, provide health insurance…hell we even pay private correctional companies to run our jails.  We also pay private companies to administer subpar healthcare to prisoners.

In Florida a sixteen million dollar price scheme was discovered by a Senator Richardson, who took the time to go investigate all the ‘contract prison’ locations. He asked, as is his right, to inspect receipts for services provided (and billed for) “The exorbitant prices just jumped off the page at me!” He said. Privatizing prisons has been determined a failed experiment. Our justice system has decided to phase it out slowly by not renewing contracts as they come up.

We’re tired of hearing reports of prisoners dying needlessly in transport vans, wearing shackles, not given food, water or their prescribed meds.

Amateur mistakes like people being 100% cut off medicine like Xanax or antipsychotics. in privatizated prison, there’s 10x more ‘lockdown’ a sharp increase in contraband and unprecedented and recorded extreme use of force.

Who are these employees at the privatized prisons? They obviously aren’t trained, they make less money than government or state correctional institutions pay, the savings they promised aren’t there.  Whatever value they claimed to give us has been WORTHLESS.

More on privatization and health: In nursing homes, agitated patients are overmedicated with the very medications that carry an unacceptably high risk for heart attack and stroke, especially in females over 65. They don’t make their own healthcare decisions and the nursing homes can save on the cost of hiring extra workers to supervise, rather than oversedate our most vulnerable citizens.

Private hospitals….well, take the case of the now defunct Hollywood Pavilion. Oh how I hated Michele, the lady who ran the place. 100 mil Medicare fraud. More Medicare fraud has been reported from private hospitals than public ones.

And we’re going to watch Trump privatize healthcare? Puhleeze.

By the time Trump has egg on his face, he’ll be off in Dubai, doing that ‘deal’ he turned down a few weeks prior.

Comedy as Therapy



Even if I’m the only one to get the joke. It still works wonders. There is this guy who blogs for, where I blog. His name is Dave Mowry and he self published a  book “No, Really, We Want You To Laugh” and it’s about a movement called SMH, “Standup for Mental Health.”

So the next thing I know, I’m going through my pile of ‘possibles’ possible stories, and marking some of them with a big black sharpie H, for humor. Then I wrote a humorous blog for my editor. She did NOT get the joke. It was called “Bipolar Disorder: I’ll fight your battles if you fight mine” and I had this one bit about how we all have different brain chemistry. “If I take your antidepressant, it might put me to sleep! I love sleep. It’s especially helpful when I’m operating heavy machinery, like my tractor.

” I’ll have to see how your antidepressant affects me before I text on my cell,” My publisher was NOT amused. I still think it’s funny, I just don’t know what to do, how to retool and resend it somewhere.

Any ideas fellow writers?

Radio show “Breakfast With The Smiths” (I barely survived…and I’m a Smiths Fan)!

girlstogehterInstead of a picture of Moz, you get to see who owns us, who rules our world. They been thinkin’ outside the box lately. No reason, really. Getting older. Medicine from the Vet.

I listen to ‘indie 103.1, a podcast out of la using the handle of a former alternative radio station. I write during the morning of most days. Anyway, during “Breakfast w/the Smiths” I had my fill at the first song. So I went over to Oedipus’s site, where my old boss from “The Q” in Phoenix, Jonathan L, hosts “The Lopsided World of L.” It’s mostly new music but I liked “Retrograde” on indie 103.1.  Hearing The Police play “Murder By Numbers” is killah. I don’t like everything they do but that song is irrestible to me.


ITunes has ‘lost’ half my 4000 songs. I’ve bought and paid for them, but the computer says It can’t locate them. The customer service person who I had an appointment with a few weeks ago ghosted me and has ghosted me ever since.

This newspaper column, called “The Haggler” in the New York Times says he’s done a handful of Apple cases this year and that they basically blow off trouble clients and focus on the bottom line. Speaking of ‘Lines,’ I might just drop one to “The Haggler.” Apple has already abandoned me and made off with about 2000 worth of songs.

I see forums of people online having the discussion about the greyed out fields with an exclamation point to the right of the song’s name.