Chronic pain compounded by tardive dyskinesia…please don’t write about what you don’t understand.

al in german dress and new earrings

I safely used ms contin for sixteen years, all the while hydrating, swimming, pilates, Wobenzyme, Pau’ D’Arco, Turmeric (anti inflammatory diet, rabbit food regimen) regular stretching, etc, for pain and round after round of expensive injections (12 in all..they all cost 200.00 and they all failed).

One of them caused a severe flare, causing me to ACTUALLY use the amount prescribed. Mostly, I took way less, taking cold turkey ‘vacations’ to drive DOWN my tolerance/dosage.

The other one was a test for “Coolief,” the burning of the entire nerve branch block of my lumbar spine. It’s tens of thousands of dollars and Medicare doesn’t prior authorize it. I’d lose my house. That’s one thing in life I’m not incurring penalties and interest on, like the taking of pain medicine. Hey, I know it’s long term bad but I can’t take the present of my ‘present.’ I don’t abuse my meds. I stopped because they were abusing me, idiots.

And I have bipolar and a history of drug abuse. And I’m intelligent and left handed, creative. So if I’m such a drug addict, why is it, tell me, that when I finally stopped at 1/3 of what I had been taking in prior years, there were 250 extra pills left over? Because I kept cutting them up in an effort to get by with less and the pills that couldn’t be cut in half, I saved for a rainy day. I can’t take them anymore anyway. They sit here and I don’t think about them until I read an article by someone who thinks there is no benefits of taking opiates for non cancerous chronic pain. For palliative care only. I have the spine of an 85 year old at 55. I was a professional athlete and exercise bulimic, under a ton of pressure to be thin to do commercials and modeling. It’s a disease, not just a vanity thing. I’ve been to eating disorder treatment twice, both for4 60 days. Bankrupted me and my family.

On the pain thing  But I don’t think you understand the agony of a psoriatic arthritic whose injuries are compounded by the uncontrollable muscle spasms of tardive dyskinesia, a rare but real side effect of my bipolar medications, which I take like clockwork and have also tried to reduce or discontinue. You probably don’t believe in bipolar either but trust me, without these meds I have delusions I have children and fixate on stop signs.

Please, people, talk to people who are truly in pain. Who need their meds to work when the pain is truly excruciating, unlivable.

Please, opiate haters, Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.

8 thoughts on “Chronic pain compounded by tardive dyskinesia…please don’t write about what you don’t understand.

      • No, becaue of tardive, psoriatic arthritis the works, my primary, my psych, the president of the national academy of pain medicine who practices locally, and another sub doctor have all written me prescriptions. I did not know that using subox for pain is basically nod nod wink wink because in all the articles after prince died, their were about five articles on the ‘box’ topic. Sorry to speak in Code. Leslie, thanks for all your support.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I would take them if I could get them without a pain doctor and so much hassle. I choose to stay in pain rather than go through all that. They have made it so hard to get opiates now.


    • it requires an mri, proof of several costly rounds of phyiscial therapy, an MRI every years, earnest attempts at injection therapies. you don’t know how much suffering is involved in getting the meds to begin with. With tardive impacting this? I’m bona fide the ‘real deal’ and those kinds of doctors want me as a patient. But I’ve got a box of fourteen years of medical records so heavy I can’t even carry them.


      • I had all that stuff done through my last pain doctor. I understand it is harder than that and the blood tests to make sure you are using your drugs and not selling or at the very least not taking them. I took them only when in unbearable pain, wouldn’t look good on the test. Take them as prescribed and I am no good at life, groggy as sin.


      • Well, up In the Northeast there is a real hardline in New Hampshire, Vermont on pain meds. Down here in Florida, because of all the retirees, this has always been a place for a ton of doctors, drug addicts, pill mills and a liberal, pro pain sufferer agenda. I took so much less than prescrigbed that even after Clair gave 140 pills she promised to ‘hold’ to the police, there’s still another hundred of them. The reason I didn’t use them was because they are too small to cut I half so I stashed em for a rainy day. I’m a minimalist like you but after 16 years the body stops tolerating any kind of medicine. My pain doc says I’m a ‘dream patient’ yet I asked for one of those emergency Narcan kits Just in case my meds overlap and there’s an incident. Truly, compassionate, safe opiate pain care can be had unless you’re in the Appalachia region “Hillbily Oxy Highway” or the Northeast. The Attorney General in New Hampshire is the worst

        Liked by 1 person

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