The lengths we’ll go in order to feel good

AllisonBlackandWhite

 

Lately I’ve been taking an antidepressant I regard as a miracle drug. They don’t know exactly how it works but it works on some four different neurtransmitters as compared to Wellbutrin’s dopamine and Prozac or Zoloft’s Selective Serotonin Reuptake inhibitor. Those just work on one. This medicine has a side effect of violent nausea, and I’m not the only one. It’s listed as the third most common side effect.

There was a period of two weeks where I could not keep it down. This is three weeks ago. Mike had a trashcan next to the couch where I was laying while I tried every which way to keep this medicine in my system to retain my fine mood. I went through bipolar depression relapse in April-Mid July of this year and though I’ve gotten past ‘worrying’ about its’ inevitable return, I don’t want it to. This antidepressant is a huge boon. Nothing works quite as well. We’ve tried. In fact, it works so well I only need to take it twice a week. Why should I take more?

I ground it up and put it in my protein drink and attempted to work out at the Y. Bad idea. I ate full, balanced meals and still…..I was sick. I dropped 12 lbs in ten days by pure happenstance. When people tell me that certain drugs make them nauseated I don’t even want to hear it. I am desperate to claim the therapeutic benefits of this drug, Brintellix, no matter the cost. Depression is feeling like dying 24/7, or in my case, my waking hours. My whole world goes dark. I’m putting it off as long as I can. Of course it would be nice if a new antidepressant were to come along but there hasn’t been a new FDA approved medication for depression since 2013.  I think we’re due.

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