This Link is from Bipolar Hope and it answers a question I’ve had. In the wake of Adderall cessation and a broken foot I’ve gained 20 lbs. The depression also fed into that, because I could have been swimming and not hurting my foot at all. I had been wondering if even in the presence of extra weight if exercise could help prevent Diabetes type two, a side effect of atypical mood stabilizing antipsychotics? I don’t know if this link is live, But in Bipolar Hope Magazine, this email says that exercise, especially the kind I dread, weight training…talk about tedious, even with music…creates a type of muscle that combats the development of Diabetes Type two. And may help outcomes of depression and anxiety. Whew! Hope it’s true.
I’m an exercise bulimic. But It’s hard to exercise when depressed. Especially when it just leads to more food binging and the need for more exercise. The only thing besides herbs and chemicals that has ever worked is an absolute Low Carb diet a la Atkins, which deprives me of Serotonin. It’s a killer. I can’t do it any more but I did it in Overeater’s anonymous for two years and kept the weight off. I don’t want that, it’s hard on Kidneys, a Ketogenic diet.
This obsession with being ‘thin,’ It comes from family and the media. My stepmother at 60 works out 4 hours a day and is gaunt shadow of herself. My birth mother was as thin as Audrey Hepburn. I have a codependent, inappropriate at times relationship to my father, who put the original emphasis on being thin in my life. Then I was an actor in LA, also trying to model. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, before Cindy Crawford and other opened things up for a few extra pounds, anyone in the media had to be stick thin. Not everyone’s genetics support that. Just look at Oprah’s struggles and even, to a much smaller degree how hard Jennifer Aniston and others meant to be more full figured have to work for it. So I think about being thin a lot and have resorted to chemical means and destructive exercise bulimia followed by binges that have resulted in more overuse orthopedic surgeries than most family trees have seen. That opened the door to massive opiate access, another chapter in itself. Certain Opiates give a sense of euphoria and tamp down appetite. Then there was Ritalin and an unstable mood. Then Vyvanse and Adderall, which I am paying the price for now.
In the wake of Adderall IR cessation and breaking my foot 15 weeks ago, I’ve gained nearly 20 lbs. My stretchiest clothes don’t fit. I hate myself. the only thing that would work would be to get back on Adderall or Vyvanse.
I worry about being fat and developing diabetes type two. I have a hard enough time brushing my teeth so If I got diabetes, it would be tough to stay healthy, all the dietary restrictions and blood sugar testing.
I did a lot of Commercials and was a day player for shows like “Love Boat” where I had to be a cocktail waitress in a Bikini. I also played the body double for a Volleyball Playin’ Tony The Tiger in a “Frosted Flakes” commercial. Understandably I love shows like “Mad Men,” because when I got out of acting, I was a copywriter for Radio and Print ads. Loved it. My mind is full of bullshit to get people to look at products in a new way, and buy them.
Now, at least I know that even if I’ve twenty or thirty or even forty pounds overweight, the exercise helps. It does take me away from other things I’d rather be doing. Oh well. Right now I’m making an exercise tape and am about to go for a powerwalk and 40 minute Ocean Swim.
My Media Image is a shot of me when I was starring in a Burger King commercial and I thought I was overweight and unacceptable back then. My Dad is still such a stickler for weight issues that I feel that to visit him would just upset him. I visited him when I was only ten pounds over and he had a cow and was trying to give me money for weight loss programs, and finally did for Nutrisystem, which totally sucked.