The Emptiness of “Likes”

I don’t ‘like’ it when people ‘like’ my posts. I write my posts because I am reaching out for someone who might be able to help me, someone who has been through it, someone who knows about a book or something better than just a fucking ‘like,’ what good does that do me? What does it tell me? It tells me that you read what I wrote and only had time to ‘like’ it. I have never in my life simply ‘liked’ someone’s post since I’ve been on here. A ‘follow’ or a ‘reply’ I can understand, but ‘likes’ have come to characterize what is wrong with our society today. We don’t have time for each other. Not even a kind word for someone who is suicidal and wondering if it relates, a month later, to Adderall Withdrawal.

The way these cries for help from me on WP are going, I might as well be pissing in the wind, as my best girlfriend says.mommybriefcase

25 thoughts on “The Emptiness of “Likes”

  1. I’ve had the same thoughts – when we ask for help and no one answers. Maybe it just means we shouldn’t usr the blog as a place to ask for help.
    I also think that some people just like because they are in the same boat. They are emotionally and physically exhausted, read a post and think “me too” and then like it. I know when I don’t comment on a post I like it could be because of the above reason, or I don’t know what to say but want to try to be supportive. It’s hard to support others when you are struggling too. I will say that if someone is suicidal, I always take the time to comment. And there are a special few blogs that I try to comment on every post, because I care very much about them.
    I hope this helped.

    Like

    • I liked your reply. I either delete posts from people who post all day long or I take the time to reply. And I am suicidal. And I don’t appreciate the ‘likes’ because they might take just a second out of their day and say just something, anything to distract me from my mission. I’ve never felt this horrible in my life. We don’t know if it’s Adderall withdrawal or just plain old bipolar depression. But I’m ready to try ECT.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I wish you were feeling better, but I know how hard it is. I truly hope that things improve for you. One thing that helps me is to watch Netflix. I know it isn’t the best coping strategy, but when life is too overwhelming for me it helps distract me for a while – at least until my SO is home.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Willow tree, I have a question for you….yes I watch a Ton of Netflix to survive what’s going on now. Got any suggestions for new unpromoted shows? I watched House of Cards twice. New documentary on Netflix same day as theatres is called “What happened Miss Simone.” I know she was a singer and Black Panther. Also, on your Gravatar, how come there is no email or no way to correspond w/you? Is that by design to keep the haters out, or because you have just gotten your gravatar. Some of this stuff is over my head so I save my pennies for once a week computer help….I keep a list of things that baffled me.

      Like

      • On Netflix…. I really like Grey’s Anatomy (I know that some people with depression suggest staying away from it when things aren’t going well, but I’ve always found comfort in it), I also like the cartoon movies. Sometimes the sitcoms are okay, but I can’t binge watch those because every episode feels the same.
        I don’t have my Gravatar set up, and haven’t been able to activate it even though I tried. So I’m just not going to. If you feel like contacting me, see my page “let’s talk.” yes, computers are difficult. If those netflix suggestions don’t interest you, let me know and I’ll give you some others.

        Like

  2. Yes. Nowadays people just like and go away. Sometimes without even reading. But we should not consider them. Life is about making it better, stay strong and keep your mind with positive thoughts. Words are the best medicine for depression. Read read and read until there is no space for depression in your brain.

    Like

  3. I usually just like because I have no clue what else to add.. Sometimes I’m just too depressed to type but it gives me comfort to read others post about that time they felt the way I feel at the moment. Someone who gets it..
    There also times when I would appreciate a comment or two makes me feel heard and understood.. I am sorry if you felt this way..

    Like

    • guess what happened in response to my request for no more empty ‘likes’ or ‘favorites?’ I got more ‘likes’ and favorites. People are just being mean or not paying any attention or simply don’t care. This is not ‘texting’ and I wish people understood that.

      Like

  4. i would say more if i knew what to say. i hit like more as a way to say me too. that i don’t know the answers, that i struggle with some of the same things, and that you’re not alone. that last one might mean something more than you think. i blog myself, and when i see the likes, i think i might just not be the only one going through this. and while it’s not all that helpful to the specific topic, it’s something.

    yeah, we need help, yeah, we need advice and books, and sometimes whatever someone will throw us. but i can at least speak for myself and say that sometimes i need to know that i’m not alone, or the only one going through this kind of thing. that even if they can’t really put it to words, there might be others in the same boat.

    so please don’t hate the ones who only hit the like button. it might be more than that and they just don’t know what to say.

    Like

    • My Sorry my bad. my comment was harsh. Sometimes it bothers me that people put all these long blogs on my post…and If I take the time to read them, I comment at least something!!! The ‘like’ problem is more of a problem with the tech industry, who put these return emails in “so and so ‘liked’ your post! perhaps you should visit them..bla bla” and it’s so “High School.” to me. It’s not you. I am getting tired of all the Disqus, Gravatar, FB..all that stuff.

      Like

      • oh, i do get it, but it’s also freaking everywhere these days. between the like buttons and dealing with all the freaking notifications, it does get rather confusing and feels like it’s nothing but my phone going off all day long. i could see how you might get frustrated and overwhelmed.

        and i’d comment more if i had the chance to really go that far with things. but sometimes i can’t seem to string a sentence together to save my life.

        Like

      • that’s alright, i actually understand.

        by the way, have you gone too far into meditation? belly breathing and focus and the like? it works for me sometimes, but other times it’s totally worthless. usually during an episode or some sort i have to all but lock myself in a closet and isolate myself from others.

        but just a thought, not many really talk about it half the time.

        but like i said, i understand regardless. i’ve had those days where it seems like one thing just rubs my last nerve raw every time i see it.

        Like

    • Sorry my bad. my comment was harsh. Sometimes it bothers me that people put all these long blogs on my post…and If I take the time to read them, I comment at least something!!! The ‘like’ problem is more of a problem with the tech industry, who put these return emails in “so and so ‘liked’ your post! perhaps you should visit them..bla bla” and it’s so “High School.” to me. It’s not you. I am getting tired of all the Disqus, Gravatar, FB..all that stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

    • This is partly an answer to the question about meditation. Please, no one, be sorry. I’m sorry for being a demanding bitch. Yes, I meditate daily. My depression is like a ‘loop’ of instrumental music…think about the intro of a pop song right before the singer begins to sing…what they do for car ads and other advertisements and TV show background arrangement music scoring is they loop the instrumental so it goes round and round until the scene ends or another reason for the music to stop.

      That’s how I see depression. It’s a loop or cycle that goes round and then you get a message in your head (the dialogue or singing) that unkindly reminds you, by saying, “Hey, you, you’re depressed. Be depressed. ” And then I feel bad all over again. It’s the worst in the morning when it’s the first message I hear. I get these hurtful messages all day long unless I do stuff to distract or interrupt them. The same is also true of the intense hunger I feel all day thanks to the antipsychotics I have to take. If I can wait them out via distracting, I can get thru them without giving in to the bread or cheesecake. So anyway I do meditate. My favs are “white light” in, bad light out, pretending I’m on a boat in the middle of the ocean with the moon shining down on me and the boat gently rocking.

      Not like anything I have to offer but I do have a private Facebook Bipolar group that I wish to slowly grow. Did any of you see “Mr Robot” on USA with Christian Slater and a young unknown star who’d like to change the world for the better? Someone he is distant friends with says, ‘I looked for you on Facebook but I couldn’t find you,” and he says in a no bones fashion, “that’s because I hate facebook.”
      I better go feed the machine.
      don’t mind me. I type 90 wpm and think fast, even when depressed. Can’t figure out.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I follow almost 400 blogs, maybe more I don’t have time to make long comments. I hit like to show that I read it and agree with you. Now if you are suicidal after 30 days why aren’t you talking to your doctor or going to the hospital. When I start feeling suicidal and I know I am in trouble I talk to my med prescriber or my therapist. I have been in the hospital for attempting suicide. No insurance, used charity care. I am sorry to say it, but none of us can tell you if coming off Adderall can make you suicidal. If your dr won’t help then ask the pharmacist. They know more about medicines than our doctors do. Sorry you feel so bad and that everyone is in an uproar because they want a personal comment. Sometimes there is not time and sometimes I simply don’t have an answer. I have read nothing but complaints all week because they want comments. I am fine with a like. A comment is nice, but I won’t get upset over not getting one. Sorry if your upset about this comment, but I am getting tired of having to explain to everyone that I can’t comment on every post and that includes people I have become close to. Not everything needs a comment. IN MY OPINION!

    Like

  6. Tess. we are looking very closely into hospitalization for me soon. Because of Tardive Dyskinesia, and the meds I’m married to for that, there is very little they can do for me in the hospital. I can’t take any more antipsychotics to stabilize me because I begin to thrash uncontrollably. (I’m on 100 mg Clozaril for TD.) So it would be impossible to comfort me with more Seroquel, etc. Tough break. I’m difficult to treat. Many psychiatrists don’t want to treat me due to tardive dyskinesia. They think I’ll get litigious. Seriously. 2nd reason Tessa, (and I can tell that you write back cause you care.. which makes me feel alot better right now, so thanks.) He’s been shrink of 15 years. He attended at hospitals for 25 years, which is how I found him. He no longer does hospitals. He’s also all cash. Saw him 7 days ago, new med to try today.

    So in the last six months I went’ ‘shopping’ for a new one. I saw three and one who is the director of psychiatry at the local hospital that takes medicare threw me out of his office in three minutes. THAT is the real reason I’ve been putting off going to Aventura hospital. I’ve been to see my psychiatrist every week for the past eight weeks. I’ve been depressed while on Adderall and when when I’m off of it, so I’m not sure that’s what it is. This might just be regular bipolar depression, the experts say. In 15 years I’ve been on nearly 10 different antidepressants. The only antidepressant treatment left for me (after having this for 25 years and having tried or used up all the others) is an MAOI (which I’m going to ask to try.) Or ECT. Another ray of hope is the new colleague my doctor is working with at Aventura hospital. Perhaps I can see this doctor privately and explain that I can’t see the ‘director’ of psychiatry and see how a ‘patient request’ will fly.

    Most of the Adderall withdrawal posts say 90 days. I’m now at day 33 and my doctor wants me to go on something similar while he finds a better antidepressant. I’ve had so much individual therapy my head spins. Intensive outpatient group, too. Writing makes me feel better. The professionals I’ve seen say that hospitalization is only appropriate if you are a danger to self or others, have a plan for suicide and that they wouldn’t be able to keep me long enough to make a difference since it takes MAOI’s take at least 2 weeks to work. But I want to try them. Thanks you Tess. That made a difference. and by the way, your ‘likes’ never bothered me. It’s the people I don’t know who have never taken the time…there are a lot of those. I can’t believe you follow 400 blogs and all your followers and took the time

    Like

    • I do care Allison. I care about everyone in our situations. It is a tough road to haul. I too am med resistant, but at the moment I am finally stable. 9 weeks now. I use an old mood stabilizer and Cymbalta. I never expected the Cymbalta to work. None of the new stuff did and I just had a rough time with the Latuda. I have TD to a small point. I can live with it. More like restless legs syndrome.I have had some really awful side-effects over the years and been off meds more than on them. I wish you well and hope you can find something to help. I am sorry if my post came off mad, but you were like the 5th person to go off on the comment track and the likes. And yes 400 blogs is a lot to work with. Take care. I have to go get my Chiropractic adjustment for my injured arm. ❤

      Like

  7. I want to try MAOI’s. I’m curious what old mood stabilizer you are on. I left message for doc about hospital and his contact buddy that he liason’s with but call not returned. That’s odd.

    I know a whole lot about TD and all the different stuff that helps. However, mine was aggravated by continued use of antipsychotics after I found out I had it. Thinking logically, I Tried to go off Seroquel in a group hospital treatment setting over a six mo period and the TD got worse. That is called “Withdrawal Emergent Syndrome” and it means, they say, that the damage is permanent and you’re ‘married’ to the antipsychotics. Like permanent damage. Research continues, though.

    So in a perfect world, I would like to stop taking the 100 mg of clozaril for the tardive but other than xenazine combined with the clozaril was the only thing that worked. I can only take tiny amount of Xenazine, a dopamine agonist because if I take more than 2.5 milligrams depression kicks in. So essentially Clozaril is the key to my tardive. and my tardive was aggravated by certain antipsychotics more than others, not going to name names on this forum but would tell you privately. See, an eating disorder program took me off of Seroquel, which is not as causal, because they were all worried about an extra 5 lbs…fools! Insufferable.!!! So now, there are psychiatrists who won’t even take me due to TD because the are afraid I’m litigious. With a few failed ortho surgeries and the eating disorder people, if I was going to sue someone, I’d have done it a long long time ago. I have ortho surg stories that were clear malpractice, even had lawyers quoting me 1mil damages potential before they would get their cut. But once I cleared up the problem and could heal, I didn’t want to go backwards into the crisis. If you know what I mean. I’m curious what mood stab…I’m psoriatic so lithium not a good choice for me, but If I’d have been able to take it, the antipsychotics would not have been needed and Tardive never would have occurred. Now that they have Enbrel for psoriasis, the possibility of taking Lithium might be back on the table. I’d just really like to be able to stop taking the clozaril for td and would need a better stabilizer. Sorry so clinical. Hey, do you ever read IBPF?

    Like

  8. Good am my good Tess. thanx again for answering my questions. over the years I’ve seen 30 psychs and they all think differently. About meds, I mean. I think it’s a financial thing….who is getting golf trips from which drug company, who is speaking for which drug, like Monica Seles speaking for Vyvanse for Binge Eating disorder, for example…a lot of cash on the table. I wrote down what you wrote and bring to doctor mine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t mind answering your questions if I can. You have seen a lot of psychs in a shorter period of time than me. I am 58 and back then it wasn’t talked about. I had to have a breakdown in the early 1990’s for me to get help. I have had 2 therapists since that time and 3 psychiatrists and one psychiatric nurse. I am lucky the pair I got now really do care about me as an individual person and they listen. I hear so many people complain that no on listens to them and they suffer through these drugs. I hope what you wrote down that I wrote wasn’t bad LOL!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s